(1 - The meaning of the message is what is understood. Peter has no responsibility to understand Adam. If Peter understood Adam's response as an attack, then that's precisely what it was. Incidentally, I understood it in that way as well.)i



So that popular old presupposition has raised its ugly head again - " the meaning of your communication is the response you get".

Of course this is not one of my beliefs and there are many occasions when it simply isn't true. Everybody knows the meaning of your communication is what you meant to say, and it is the other persons problem for hearing it wrong.

So without bringing beliefs into this which of these two is true .

In the occasional run round the presuppositions maybe it's a good chance to pick up on this one and see what people who are involved in the NLP world think about this since we seem to use it with gay abandon (pun absolutely intended).

Without wishing to unduly influence the newbies BTW, the first thing to say that everything here is my opinion neé belief, so consider it to be heavily qualified (whatever that might mean). This is not an official NLP communication so you may take it how you like.

And as with most of what we do in life much of it revolves around processes and not just a few humans deciding whether a presupposition means this or that which is largely pointless. Further it may take you down the road of beating each other with NLP sticks which is equally pointless. So what is it all about? For me it is a mechanism to help me achieve an outcome, it is a tool not a mantra.

If I'm communicating with somebody I assume there is some point to that process. An outcome needs to be achieved primarily by me but possibly I will be looking for their outcomes to also be achieved, a win-win no less. My communication takes me towards that outcome and if it's an interaction between two people then the dance that ensues between us must also support that need.

If I think I'm doing the Tango and my partner is wrapped up in a Waltz then chaos will result. It is in my interest to ensure that my communication is understood, and this presupposition gives me the opportunity to review how successfully my outcome is on track and to modify my behaviour if necessary TO MEET MY OWN OUTCOME.

And as has been said before the presuppositions are a personal thing in this context. They may well be used in an “as if” frame when working with clients but there are many people who use NLP without being therapists and it can be used on yourself to excellent effect.

The key to this is recognizing the dance and the dynamic and also to recognize the outcome that you are attempting to move towards and where the other person may be wanting to go.

Interested to know how people here use this presupposition.

John

Condoms are not completely safe, a friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus