Hi guys!

I still have fears and hesitation when approaching women and I just don't approach when seeing women. So, is it possible to install a strong complusion or an addiction to approach women? or even a phobia of not approaching women I desire?

I need a really strong technique that can force me to approach beautiful women NO MATTER WHAT...

Please give me some advices! Thanks!


Cheers
sunrise

Sounds like you want to replace one small problem with a bigger one. How about this for a alternative way forward,

Through research and a bit of trial and error you start to see approaching and talking to beautiful women as a pleasant and often (not always) rewarding experience that makes you want to talk to them again. No need for phobias or compulsion, simply do it because it makes your life a happier place.

Most things in life are about finding a balance that works for you.

What if the one of the first women you approached really hit it off with you and you end up dating. Where would your requested compulsion put you then? It would get you dumped and probably a long period of time of you trying to find what you once had and lost.

There are ways to approach women that are more successful than others. You need to find them thats all! There are some guys who spend alot of time on this, hopefully they will pick up this thread and help out!

All the best!

Matt

Hi Sunrise, your request reminds me of those genii & three wishes fables - you know, where a poorly specified wish invariably ruins the wisher - regardless of intention.

for example - what if you saw two beautiful women walking away from each other? you may find yourself torn between the two.

or maybe you wander past a funeral home and see a beautiful lady lying in a coffin...

or maybe you discover your mother looks kind of beautiful...

and you haven't even considered if you would like them after you meet them. Imagine that, being attracted to >insert your own undesirable person here< forever?

extreme examples, but be careful of what you ask for...


Now, if you want to confidently meet women with an eye to dating, that's a different story. If you want to develop your interpersonal skills so that women want to date you, even better. If you want to learn how to control the minds of women to make them sleep with you, well, that's kind of creepy (in my map of the world, anyway).

So what (specifically) do you want?

sunrise wrote:

Hi guys!

I still have fears and hesitation when approaching women and I just don't approach when seeing women.

Rubbish, this is blatantly not true.

Do you have fears and hesitation when you approach your Mother. Do you have sisters or cousins? Do you fear approaching them. When you go to buy a ticket at the train station do you have fear if the person in the office is a woman? What about Women in work?

How about men? Can you approach them without fear?

These are all people. If the answer is Yes to all of the above then you need to see a Doctor.

How about seeing woman as people for a change and acquire some skills to build a relationship with people irrespective of who they are. You will fail many times for you will meet people you do not want to know further and they you. You never know some may even want to have sex with you.

sunrise wrote:

So, is it possible to install a strong complusion or an addiction to approach women? or even a phobia of not approaching women I desire?

So you want an addiction? Yes we can do that here. So when you are in a lift and it gets stuck between floors and there are three men with you we can arrange for you to have a panic attack because you need desperately to be with a woman. Is that right? Is that what you want? No problem, when do you want to start?

sunrise wrote:

I need a really strong technique that can force me to approach beautiful women NO MATTER WHAT...

sunrise wrote:

Please give me some advices!

Here it is.

So lets imagine in a few months time when you have all the skills you desire, what then. You have women every day of the week, sometimes twice, is that going to be your goal for the rest of your life?

Since you are on an NLP forum so lets make your Goal a little more challenging shall we?

How about you could acquire all the skills you needed to have any woman you wanted but the only condition was that she had to find you so interesting to know that she would want to have you first. How would that be?

If all you really want is sex though why fuck about acquiring skills. Just go an see a prostitute it will be cheaper in the long run and if you pay her enough I am sure she will happily pretend to be seduced.

John

Masturbation isn’t the most satisfying thing in the world but at least it’s sex with someone you love

Can I offer a woman's perspective here?
I will not pretend to be an NLP expert because I am a complete newbie! But I would like to tell you that most beautiful women appreciate an honest, non-creepy, straightforward approach! Not a line! Although sometimes that can be funny too!

You aren't the only man who hesitates to approach and then unfortunately we often get unhealthy men come up to us because the good guys either think they don't have a chance or we're already taken!

Don't think of what you have to lose but more of what you have to gain!

I know many beautiful women who spend Saturday night alone because men have hesitated to approach them!

You may be asking yourself what you could say to them....how about 'hello'!
A smile goes a long way as well!

Take a deep breath, get yourself in a happy state and then go for it! Just because she is beautiful does not = unattainable! Anyhow, in the worst case you may gain a great friend....who incidentally will know other beautiful women!

We're just like you. We have fears and insecurities and usually have a 'Fat' issue!

Best of luck Sun Rise!

For some reason, when I first read this, I read "How to install a compulsion to approach worms"! However, I can see that a compulsion to approach women is a much better idea - it sounds like the basis of a hilarious game show! Hypnotist installs compulsion to approach women and then the "subject" is put into several awkward situations. Vince, you forgot the one about the attactive woman standing next to her 6'4" tall, 6'4" wide husband.

What a brilliant idea. And just when Paul McKenna is fecking off to the states. Maybe Keith Barry could do it instead?

vincenzo wrote:

Hi Sunrise, your request reminds me of those genii & three wishes fables - you know, where a poorly specified wish invariably ruins the wisher - regardless of intention.

for example - what if you saw two beautiful women walking away from each other? you may find yourself torn between the two.

or maybe you wander past a funeral home and see a beautiful lady lying in a coffin...

or maybe you discover your mother looks kind of beautiful...

For some reason, when I first read this, I read "How to install a compulsion to approach worms"! However, I can see that a compulsion to approach women is a much better idea

Obviously not a fisherman.

Hey guys!

You gave some great advice! I will study it!

In reply to your questions:

I actually want to be able to cold approach or start a conversation on any women I like in public confidently, easily and effortlessly, no pain, no fears, just enjoy doing it.

I have yet to come up with ways to get rid of all my fears and hesitation in approaching women, so I thought if I could come up with a way to approach women complusively, I know it may not be the perfect idea, but at least, it will get me MOVING....

This topic could also be, how to generate a phobia to not approaching the women I like?

Vince:

for example - what if you saw two beautiful women walking away from each other? you may find yourself torn between the two.

or maybe you wander past a funeral home and see a beautiful lady lying in a coffin...

or maybe you discover your mother looks kind of beautiful...

and you haven't even considered if you would like them after you meet them. Imagine that, being attracted to >insert your own undesirable person here< forever?

You gave some some interesting examples in your post, how do I use it? How do I apply it? Could you explain a little?

Thanks guys

Cheers
Sunrise

Hi There,

Putting any joking aside, I am curious, when you see a beautiful woman, what, exactly, is it that stops you approaching her?


Namaste,


Stephen

What stops me approaching her is this. IM MARRIED, but happy to be so.

Hi, I may sound like a total idiot here, but it seems to me that seeing another human being as different or creating an imaginary obstacle between himself and women is the real problem here.

Speaking for myself, knowing that we are all the same energy just in different packages with different levels of abilities has eliminated any kind of barrier to connecting and relating to people.

As beautiful as some women or men can be...we all have the same buttons and engines! No need for a complicated scheme!!!

I know that it seems that you are on the victim side of this but you're not. Unless you decide to be. Make a decision and then follow through. You're going to meet nice people and not so nice people. Some you will like others you won't. But that is better than not meeting anyone at all!!!

Think of something that you are good at doing....like picking the tomatoes from your garden! Then use the same kind of decision making when picking people! We're no different than tomatoes except that we talk back! Some are rotten and some are delicious!

I know I am simplifying this but that is because it is simple!

Happy tomato picking!

Isabelle_Aubé wrote:

Hi, I may sound like a total idiot here, but it seems to me that seeing another human being as different or creating an imaginary obstacle between himself and women is the real problem here.

Speaking for myself, knowing that we are all the same energy just in different packages with different levels of abilities has eliminated any kind of barrier to connecting and relating to people.

As beautiful as some women or men can be...we all have the same buttons and engines! No need for a complicated scheme!!!

I know that it seems that you are on the victim side of this but you're not. Unless you decide to be. Make a decision and then follow through. You're going to meet nice people and not so nice people. Some you will like others you won't. But that is better than not meeting anyone at all!!!

Think of something that you are good at doing....like picking the tomatoes from your garden! Then use the same kind of decision making when picking people! We're no different than tomatoes except that we talk back! Some are rotten and some are delicious!

I know I am simplifying this but that is because it is simple!

Happy tomato picking!

I dont have any problems approaching any one, all guns blazing or paddle in on a calm pond. maybe some modelling can be done here.

Picking at a few of the threads above and adding my own bit of mind reading, am I on the right path when I predict a future 'sunrise' walking up to a beautiful girl and after a few moments of conversation our man is walking away with a phone number, a spring in his step and some great foundations laid for meating the girl later that week.

I believe Sunrise is competent at spotting the women and has a social life that puts him in situations where approaching them is acceptable. I also speculte he knows how to walk with a spring in his step and be happy, the feelings of success and happiness are not new to Sunrise but gaining them in this environment is a new and untried path.

(I am not sure why I have chosen to write in this strange manner tonight)

Anyhow, we have all the parts in place with the exception of approach, talk (in a manner that encourages interaction not retraction) and a state of mind where Sunrise can ask for a date with success.

My thoughts are for Sunrise is to create a pattern of conversation where he can then go and start the real process of learning, on the street.

So, with Shaun, Isabelle, Stephen, Alex, John, Vince and Chris sending positive thoughts your way you will be equpied to start your journey to romantic happiness. Keep Isabelle's advice at the front of your mind, advice from a beautiful girl on how to impress a beautiful girl is going to be good. On a personal note, please dont let your persuit of attractive females result in you losing you individualism and make you bland or predictable, keep your current positive qualities at all times.

(Disclaimer- I am not an expert and have only spent about 5 mins talking with my girlfriend in order to come up with this advice! My advice which I have been told I am not allowed to give was to pull a minger and then act really over the top with flowers and romantic gestures and women will come and find you, being part of a couple normally makes a bloke irrisitable!) but like I say, I am not allowed to give that advice even though it worked on someone who is sitting not to far away from me right now.

Dress smart/ casual, but dont dress as if you are going clubbing if it is the middle of the day, you will just look unemployed and as if you are out trying to meet girls. Dress as if you are on your way to have a really great and important social event at a local swanky pub or coffee shop.

Spot your tomoto (or is it tomato?) and walk in her direction as is she is someone you have known for years or as if you are about to walk straight past her and then "pop" (girlfriends words) your eyes at her. I think 'Popping your eyes' mean your eyes make contact and you look as though you never meant to make eye contact and you appear a little awkward, I think a little like Hugh Grant would act. You appear a little spooked by it and then calm yourself and say "wow, umm, err, umm yes... wow, definatly wow" as you maintain her attention she will wait for you to say something (I told you it was like Hugh Grant and the umm'ing will make a great pattern interrupt as she looks to you to end her confusion). Then you say something like "sorry, I can normally speak but I wasnt expecting to speak to you.. umm err, you have a few seconds so I can ... speak with you?"

If she says "no, bugger off weird bloke" then just say "ok, sorry it just threw me because you are really pretty and i couldnt think of anything to say, you see, i am off to my friends place for a ...well... lets just say we are celebrating, I really need to get going, you want to helpfull and save me from my embarrasment right now and give me your number so I can try talking again some other time and maybe you can tell me about yourself?"

If she says "yes, sure" then just be you, she obviously likes what she sees. Make small talk and as soon as you feel things are not going well, revert to the above plan. To help things go well Isabelle advice is all you need.

I would love to be a fly on the wall for you tomorrow and watch you having fun. I dont want to get in the realms of turning you into a creepy bloke but maybe a good technique to do before hand is take a walk until you find a place where you feel stragely good, a place which just feels right for you. Now set some waypoints here and you now have 'your zone'. Either find a reason to wait in your zone or simply time you walks through it so you dont look a wally, when a girl enters your zone you know what to do. Losing your nerve is NOT allowed in the zone. The beauty of 'the zone' means that when you walk in and out of it you can leave 'baggage' and hang-ups on the other side. When you walk in, walk tall and be the person you want to be. When you leave it, leave with everything you have learnt that day and leave any new baggage behind. It is a topic I use with new teachers who are nervous about entering the lions den, sorry, I mean classrooms.

You will suprise yourself how fast you learn how to do this, it has nothing to do with looks, money, age, abdominal musclus, cars or how shit your ex was to you and how much you want to be loved. It is about the girl making a snap judgement on whether she could introduce you to her circle of friends confidently or you will make her laugh and feel good about herself for the forseable future.

It is all about summing all the best parts of yourself and allowing someone else to see it. If they chose not to see it or what you are displaying is not for them then that really is no problem, the next one you talk with may just be what you are needing right now. Try and look past the depth of a girls 'foundation', make up and wonderbra, look for someone to satisfy your head, the sex is ALWAYS better that way.

sunrise wrote:

Hi guys!

I still have fears and hesitation when approaching women and I just don't approach when seeing women. So, is it possible to install a strong complusion or an addiction to approach women? or even a phobia of not approaching women I desire?

I need a really strong technique that can force me to approach beautiful women NO MATTER WHAT...

Please give me some advices! Thanks!


Cheers
sunrise

What are you good at approaching? what does the voice in your head say to you when you see a stunning sexy woman. Which side does it come from, is it your voice, is it a codesending voice, is it a womans voice, what would happen if you WENT FOR IT, just walked over to that woman and said Hi, do you mind if I sit with you, or would it be ok for me to get you a drink! What would happen if you did do that?
shaun.

Hey Matt, Thanks for the compliment!
However I need to disagree with your comment on 'being taken makes a man irresistible'!

But I guess I can only speak for myself here as it may apply to some women who have anger/competition issues with other women!

For me, if a man is taken, it makes him off limits! And if he shows interest in me it makes him a scumbag! LOL! I'm sorry to be so crude but that is the way that I feel!

If he can't respect the woman he's with by ending it if he is interested in others and showing it...then I have no respect for him. I know it's natural to have attractions to others...I'm not immune, however I would never show it unless I was single-- out of consideration for whatever man I would be with.

But then that's me! So it all depends what you're after I guess!

Sorry...I am injecting personal stuff here! Back to Sun Rise's problem!

Nice work Mr. Shaun Thompson!

Isabelle_Aubé wrote:

Hey Matt, Thanks for the compliment!
However I need to disagree with your comment on 'being taken makes a man irresistible'!

But I guess I can only speak for myself here as it may apply to some women who have anger/competition issues with other women!

For me, if a man is taken, it makes him off limits! And if he shows interest in me it makes him a scumbag! LOL! I'm sorry to be so crude but that is the way that I feel!

If he can't respect the woman he's with by ending it if he is interested in others and showing it...then I have no respect for him. I know it's natural to have attractions to others...I'm not immune, however I would never show it unless I was single-- out of consideration for whatever man I would be with.

But then that's me! So it all depends what you're after I guess!

Sorry...I am injecting personal stuff here! Back to Sun Rise's problem!

Nice work Mr. Shaun Thompson!

WELL SAID, we all look at other people, Now me I ride a 200 mph motorbike, buy I still look at other nice bikes, I just dont try to ride them.

Shaun,

I share a passion for bikes but I go on as many trackdays as possible to get experience of riding other bikes. Some are good for a sunny day tarmac ride and others are suited for dirty, muddy, slipping and sliding fun. If I am pushing the boundaries then I want to make sure my little beauty is parked up safely out of harms way. 200mph, wow, what do you ride? Is this your first bike or have you a history of getting a better and better bike every few years? You seem satisfied at first and then you want one that is a little younger, a few less miles on the clock and more grunt, maybe you want to change for the sake of it. I had a friend who seemed to test drove bikes as a hobby yet married the first girl he 'went' with.

Anyway, that is not a metaphor to be associated with any approach to women, just a story about bikes!

I have spent some time thinking through what Isabelle said and hopefully if I share my new thoughts and clarify a few points then both our maps remain as they were and an a mutual understanding can still be made.

I believe that often when a bloke or girl is in a relationship and not on the lookout for a new partner then they can be more relaxed, not trying to sell themselves and conversations can often flow easier as neither party is gearing towards innuendo or sex. There is no alternate motive going on, just two people enjoying the moment and contributing to polite conversation.

Lets be honest, if I have had a sustained period of single'ness and I find myself in conversation with a Isabelle'esque corker then the illiterate 'umms and errrs and ahhh's' that I mentioned in my earlier post are likely to come out as I have a different agenda going on and I will be running programmes called 'nervousness' and 'try and be cool' at full speed while I make progress towards asking her for her phone number. If I am in a relationship at the same time as meeting this stunner then I will be more relaxed and no other motives are in play, just enjoying the conversation.

Regardless of whether I get her number, walking away from either situation I am more likely to have fonder memories of the nice relaxed conversation the 'paired-up' version of me encountered and possibly believe we 'hit it off'.

Do any other blokes find this to be the case?

I look forward to your thoughts,

Thanks

Matt

Hey Matt!
There was absolutely no judgment about you in what I wrote! And I whole heartedly agree that knowing a man/woman that is at ease with themselves is attractive...however, having or pretending to be with someone else is not---In MY OPINION-- a good tactic to 'get women'. I'm not saying that this is what you wrote!

I think that you were just expressing yourself and perhaps didn't mean it to come off the way that I responded to it. Not a problem Friend!


I was just expressing my little frustration because I have been approached too many times by married or attached men thinking they could get somewhere with me. It isn't pleasant and has been a challenge in the sense that I questioned what kind if signals I was putting out. Until I figured out that it wasn't about me but about their ways of being in the world!

I happen to like the 'ERRR'S and UMMMM'S' as they show genuine caring of the outcome of the exchange!

But then again...that's just me! LOL!

All this to say no worries Matt! I don't think any less of you! If you came on to me while with your Girlfriend...well then that would be a different story!

*smile*
Is this helping you at all Sun Rise?! LOL!

Have a wonderful day!

Isabelle

PS---Please forgive my Canadianism but what's an 'Isabelle'esque corker'???!!!! LOL! I'm a little concerned!

Matt, I think you are a nice person, your points I agree with, take for instance today, I have been looking for a telescope for a gift to my sone who is recovering from two broken legs after the infamous sorry mate i didnt see you, an 8 thousand quid bike gone, now the bike is being replaced, my son is recovering well, so the telescope, i looked on ebay and found one I liked, sometimes destiny makes some big moves, the seller and I decided to sort it out and I bought it off ebay, went to her house and the most crazy things happened, we had so much in common, however the lady has MS, she also has a bad eye problem. To cut a long story short I spent two hours with her helping her come to terms with issues from long a go, we did parts therapy, some EFT, and a pain she was experiencing on a 0 to 10 scale of 8, was reduced down to 2. This is a copy of her email I arrived home to from her. I only went to pick up the telescope, some of the stuff I picked up on was crazy, in her words You have blown me away. I had a lovely time with a lovely lady, two nice cups of tea, and a stroke of her cats. I really think it was a higher force that directed me to her. the lady was amazed with NLP EFT and light hypnosis. I believe we will become friend and I hope myself my wife and the lady and her partner can be mates. I dont know if this makes sence my friend. It made a stranger very happy. I am so pleased I trained with McKenna Bandler and Breen.
5 BIKES 200 MPH HAYABUSA, A 1982 750 SECA, A 750 DUCATI, A TL 1000S, AND A 1200 CC VMAX, I DONT DRINK I DONT SMOKE, BUT I DO LIKE MY BIKES


Hi Shaun, SO VERY AMAZING to meet you, you are fantastic, and a defo 'meant to be' I feel a much happier, healthier person for meeting you.
Will speak soon, anytime you want to talk in the day, phone me

take care