....After watching some dating products I was able to see myself going about my day and suddenly seeing this amazing woman and without hesitation starting to talk to her and showing her who I really am, and I could see her laughing and falling for me, and there was something inside telling me just go out and practise what you just learn and really soon you'll be that person, and you'll never be alone again unless you decide that...

So I tried the approaching woman thing and I was able to overcome all my fears and approach everyone at any time...

And I can tell you don't even try to go there... It took a lot of energy out of me, I got rejected almost every time. And all the bad believes about myself that I had before I started to study things about how to have a more successful love live started to come back. Because how is it possible that me a confident man who has overcome his deepest fears, who has a good job, good health, nice clothes is not able to get a date even with the ugliest women in town. (Because I said to myself ok I'm not going to discriminate anyone, I'm sure everyone has some amazing things to show) So yes after trying so hard and not getting anywhere I started to believe again well maybe there is something in me that makes me impossible to be loved.
Now I think that all PUA are just super nerds with no friends who live in this fantasy world where they believe that with their method they are able to hack society, pick up and have sex with any woman they have.
I'm sure they don't have the guts to even use their methods but they teach them to other social nerds who have less experience. And then if by luck once they get a chance with a drunk women they stop calling themselves as PUAs but now they are PU Gurus... And now they are able to tell 2 successful oppenings and 1 successful closing in their seminars and newsletters.

I would recommend to use "Luck" instead, it has been working for me.
Go out to every social event you know.

Join new activities that you would like to do, but by some reason you are not doing them. (skydiving, gym, dance lessons, whatever)
Enjoy those things, smile, don't approach but say: "hello" and "good bye" to everybody.

If you have something to say, say it... maybe the women of your dreams will be listening to it and find you interesting because of that.

If someone gives you eye contact smile and say: "Hi" if you have something else to say... say it!, if not, "maybe they have something to say", if not just smile and continue with your day...

It is pretty easy, you don't need a lot of courage, and you'll be meeting a lot of people every week. Some of them will be women and by probabilities some of them will be interested in you.

Today just look at a close door, and imagine to punch it real hard with your fist, and approach the door convinced that you'll hit it as hard as you can. I'm sure something in your body will tell you to stop. Why do you want to install compulsion to hit close doors, you'll hurt your hand. Maybe the first time will hurt more and then you'll get use to the hurt but you'll hurt it... It is the same when you put yourself all vulnerable and approach someone who is closed there.

Look for open doors, look for keys to open the doors. If you look for them you'll find some. Most of them will be closed but still there are more open than the ones you are able to deal with.

So good Luck !

SilverIncubus wrote:

... who thumbs down a blank
post?

Honestly, I thought at least people who understood
NLP would at least be able to grasp context from Content and not get so involved in the content of something so trivial as a joke.

Like seriously you guys need to some re-evaluations of the worlds in which you live in. There really is no pedophile in the joke, there really is no girl in the joke, none of it ever happened.

Why should anything be taboo? Are people that afraid of a JOKE?
Hell I didn't even write it.

Watchout that superego stuff is going to get ya

Jan_Schneider wrote:

....After watching some dating products I was able to see myself going about my day and suddenly seeing this amazing woman and without hesitation starting to talk to her and showing her who I really am, and I could see her laughing and falling for me, and there was something inside telling me just go out and practise what you just learn and really soon you'll be that person, and you'll never be alone again unless you decide that...

So I tried the approaching woman thing and I was able to overcome all my fears and approach everyone at any time...

And I can tell you don't even try to go there... It took a lot of energy out of me, I got rejected almost every time. And all the bad believes about myself that I had before I started to study things about how to have a more successful love live started to come back. Because how is it possible that me a confident man who has overcome his deepest fears, who has a good job, good health, nice clothes is not able to get a date even with the ugliest women in town. (Because I said to myself ok I'm not going to discriminate anyone, I'm sure everyone has some amazing things to show) So yes after trying so hard and not getting anywhere I started to believe again well maybe there is something in me that makes me impossible to be loved.
Now I think that all PUA are just super nerds with no friends who live in this fantasy world where they believe that with their method they are able to hack society, pick up and have sex with any woman they have.
I'm sure they don't have the guts to even use their methods but they teach them to other social nerds who have less experience. And then if by luck once they get a chance with a drunk women they stop calling themselves as PUAs but now they are PU Gurus... And now they are able to tell 2 successful oppenings and 1 successful closing in their seminars and newsletters.

I would recommend to use "Luck" instead, it has been working for me.
Go out to every social event you know.

Join new activities that you would like to do, but by some reason you are not doing them. (skydiving, gym, dance lessons, whatever)
Enjoy those things, smile, don't approach but say: "hello" and "good bye" to everybody.

If you have something to say, say it... maybe the women of your dreams will be listening to it and find you interesting because of that.

If someone gives you eye contact smile and say: "Hi" if you have something else to say... say it!, if not, "maybe they have something to say", if not just smile and continue with your day...

It is pretty easy, you don't need a lot of courage, and you'll be meeting a lot of people every week. Some of them will be women and by probabilities some of them will be interested in you.

Today just look at a close door, and imagine to punch it real hard with your fist, and approach the door convinced that you'll hit it as hard as you can. I'm sure something in your body will tell you to stop. Why do you want to install compulsion to hit close doors, you'll hurt your hand. Maybe the first time will hurt more and then you'll get use to the hurt but you'll hurt it... It is the same when you put yourself all vulnerable and approach someone who is closed there.

Look for open doors, look for keys to open the doors. If you look for them you'll find some. Most of them will be closed but still there are more open than the ones you are able to deal with.

So good Luck !

Lol you shouldnt be so discouraged easily. See your approaches were based upon a result and thats why you failed. Plus with the things you said i am guessing that you were approaching with a lot of fear, and a lack of self worth. Dont give up so easily buddy. Yes approaching women works, otherwise the male species would not reproduce. Ever been to a bar or a club. Guess what happens there.

Now to anyone who came upon here mistakingly thinking that they would find NLP techniques and found a bunch of dribble by judgemental peopole who basically dont understand, and should not have posted if they did have techniques to contribute. I do have an answer for you.

Ross Jefferies--Unstopabble Confidence. Google it. it is based upon the principle that If you want a mindset not only when approaching women but also going on dates etc. YOU HAVE TO REHEARSE IT. Cause if you dont give your brain what to do in a nervous (Figth or Flight Situation) Its just going to do what it has been doing all along. Running away.

Mr. Jefferies uses many NLP Techniques in these 4 tapes about 2 hrs of audio. They are simply the best. As for what to say to women read up on Cocky and Funny David Deangelo

I just had to sign up and post these because the dude didnt ask for your alls advice. The fact of the matter is he asked for techniques, and if you didnt have techniques to contribute, then you shouldnt have posted

Thank you

Zee

Perhaps I have some keys to open your love locks?

If a woman feels unapproachable, your emotional "guidance system" is probably right. The timing or setting is off, or she is sending a vibration of stay back, or you are sending a vibration of needy. Any one of these will screw everything up - it's like forcing a square peg in a round hole. So when you ask, "how can I approach any woman?", you can start by throwing your expectations out the window - because chances are - the relationship vibe won't be there, and 99% of the approaches will end up as "that was weird", or another form of rejection. You're forcing something that is not meant to happen.

Usually, when you have an emotion where you "don't feel it", is an indicator that two of your beliefs are contradicting each other, or it could also be that you don't have any experience with said task. You can use positive focus to build a scenario that your body is comfortable with. Create a story (a model) of what your ideal meeting scenario would be like. Include all the details - like feelings, sights, sounds, words that are said, what she says to you - and then visualize this experience, over, and over. What this does is desensitizes your body to the experience. Once you experience it in the mind, it will be easier for you to experience it in the body. When you are meeting people next time, it will feel more natural.

What you want is to feel comfortable in yourself, be confident in whatever happens, and at ease when talking to people, building trust, and building relationships.

Meeting people shouldn't feel doubtful or anxious. It should feel exciting and playful. If you aren't absolutely filled with joy at the thought of racing over to someone and introducing yourself, then don't do it! You're trying too hard. There shouldn't be a reason to force anything.

And if that doesn't help you, forget about it! Stop "trying", and just be yourself. Perhaps you can be the one getting approached. Buy a T-shirt that says "Feel free to feel me", or a puppy, and make your single status publicly known. What better way to meet girls, than having your friend introduce you as "he's single and in hot demand"? One of the best ways to get introduced to girls is to bring a "wingwoman" - if you've never tried it, I highly recommend it.

ZeeL4J8C2 wrote:

I just had to sign up and post these because the dude didnt ask for your alls advice. The fact of the matter is he asked for techniques, and if you didnt have techniques to contribute, then you shouldnt have posted

Thank you

Zee

Obviously I bow to Zee's greater wisdom and fully accept that he knows best and 'the dude' who started the threat was not really asking for advice when, in his first post, he said:
Please give me some advices! Thanks

(just after saying, However, I need a really strong technique that can force me to approach beautiful women NO MATTER WHAT...)

Tut! Tut! What kind of NLPers are you? all of you who thought you were doing something useful in giving advice that was NOT requested, should bear Zee's comments in mind: that Please give me some advices! means something different.

Perhaps you need to develop your sensory acuity or something? I do NOT want any responses to this message - or do I?

Go well

ZeeL4J8C2 wrote:

Lol you shouldnt be so discouraged easily. See your approaches were based upon a result and thats why you failed.

Regardless of what else Zee may have said, this part is exactly right. The first part of picking up girls, the most important, core aspect, that is absolutely key... LISTEN UP... is to FORGET about attracting girls. Go out there with a different attitude. Have Fun! Its FUN to experiment with these techniques, to play with them, to fire something off, and just OBSERVE completely what results occur.

Forget about guarantees. Forget about 100%. When you go out there with a different intent... When you go out there to have fun... The entire field changes. It doesnt matter if you walk away alone, or pick up the most outstanding "10" there. That is NOT your goal. Your goal is to have fun playing the field.

When you can do those two things, have fun, and observe... Nothing else matters. Every experience is a learning experience, and every experience is a fun experience. Your success will be outstanding. Language patterns, inner game, thats all just icing on the cake. Thats nothing more than the way they sell this stuff. The real magic is all right there. Have fun. Observe. Learn.

I don't know what the thread is 'bout cuz tooo long already.

Here's the trick.

Collect a roll of nickles.

When you see dream lady then drop a nickle along her way, and do a straight bend exercise when you pick-up the nickle with a smile on her face.

If she returns the favor because you took the time, then you just might have something going there for you.

Me?, I just like to take my shower hot.

yea umm...back to what this thread was meant to be about...

I'm almost done reading persuasion engineering by bandler, and this section i'm on reminded me of this thread.

in this book/seminar he installed compulsions into people to cold call or walk across the room if they see a customer, so i don't see why this shouldn't work with women and why it could be a bad thing to try out.

seduction is really just sales anyway...

if you wanted you could make it more specific i guess, like when you see a woman give you the go sign, like maintaining eye contact more than usual, then you get a compulsion simply to walk over and say hi, and just have faith that you will take care of the rest, at least that's what i would like to do, the opener is hardest methinks.

in the book he uses submodalities...so you find the submodalities for a compulsion you do have...like smoking cigarettes or something...then find the image for where you'd like to have the compulsion and match all the submodalities.

you could do a swish with this too right? or is what i just described a swish? i really can't tell based on that book, most of that book is rediculously hard to read and not organized at all...really funny though!

The first half of this thread is pretty interesting. I want to focus on the word compulsion for a moment though. It's interesting what people ask for.

Who'd really want a compulsion?

And who'd knowingly install one in someone else without being very careful about the context?

I have heard about at least one NLPer who took a shy guy and got him to be compulsive about meeting women. Now that guy is wanted by the police for sexual harassment.

It's nearly always best to give people more options rather than less. Having to approach is just as limiting as not being able to approach. What you want are more choices, and that comes from building your own flexibility.

I wonder what would happen if you chose to not even think about approaching anyone for a whole month. Just know that however easy it might be this time, you're gonna pass up the opportunity. Enjoy knowing that it's your choice. And before long I think you'll notice some changes.

As a woman, I did wonder what this would say! Am very relieved to find such a down to earth answer which I agree whole heartedly with.
Choice is certainly what gives people control over their own lives, and isn't that what this is all about? Choice equals freedom

Whether or not some one feels compelled to approach members of the opposite or the same sex, I'm assuming there must be (consciously or not) a desired outcome of the encounter.

If memory serves, seduction was the OP's main objective, and, again I assume (perhaps wrongly), a sexual connotation.

Who was it said, "What do you say after you've said 'Hello!' ?"

And it was Stephen Covey, was it not? whose third habit [of seven] encourages us to start with the end in mind (which, given the old English(?) euphemismGetting your end away! also has sexual gratification in mind).

And, supposing that outcome has been achieved, would it not be prudent to know whether one was coming or going in order to know whether one intended to loiter or to leave?

I feel compelled to admit that it'sa bit of a mystery to me (but then, I might have lost my Marples)!

Go well

Since it's been a month now nothing kinky and all I can come up with these is to 'Raise the dead.'

Raising the dead!

Plant a token dead tomatoe seed, watch it grow, which is does not appear to be dead after all, and by which the same reapen token respect .. as if .. will gets you harvesting your own hot dog hot!

Dead tomatoes to rise of course.

I forgot the metphorical joke

Anybody else got any new ideas to come up with that's repectable for inclusion with healthy compulsion incorporation that isn't stumffed by the old not too recent?

What's the topic about anyways, generating new confusions about new confusions, or more choices rather than more of a choice?

Mikee

Dumb as rock is as cold as stone, when not in the Mojave

Mikee wrote:

I forgot the metphorical joke


What's the topic about anyways, generating new confusions about new confusions, or more choices rather than more of a choice?

Mikee

I, 4 1, couldn't disagree with you less, Mikee! Go well

Back to the OP's question, from what I can tell he just wants to be more confident approaching women. What's wrong with that? A lot of people have taken his desire for a "compulsion" and ran away with it.

In my opinion, practice. Whoever said go to lots of social events is correct - but don't go up to women asking them if they want a drink etc. You have to become known first and even more importantly, be non-threatening. And threatening to stay longer forces her to make a snap decision on you. Make a joke then move on. If you see her again, she will remember you as a guy who isn't just out to get laid, just a funny guy.

There is HEAPS more to say on this subject!

Casale wrote:

A lot of people have taken his desire for a "compulsion" and ran away with it.

Mea Culpa!!
Yet again, I was in the grip of a very strong or uncontrollable wish (to do something repeatedly)
Yet again, I was in the grip of a very strong or uncontrollable wish
Yet again, I was in the grip of a very strong or uncontrollable wish

Helpa Me, eh?

Sun Rise

How about looking at your 'issue' from a different perspective?
I may be wrong, but you appear to be looking for a solution to a secondary concern rather than dealing with the primary one........
Your lack of confidence in approaching women.

I would suggest that you ask yourself, what are you looking for from this approach?

If it is just to get laid with someone new every other day, then save yourself the anxiety and consider handing over money for the privilege of fulfilling your sexual urges with those in the buisness of satisfying your needs.......Job Done.

If you decide that you are looking for a lasting and fulfilling relationship, and feel that you are lacking the confidence to take the first step, then consider dealing with your confidence issue.

After all whatever you decide will have consequences, immediate sexual gratification, or a Loving Relationship.......that is your choice.

Your choice needs to be ecologically sound...and fits well with 'Who' you are and if your expected outcome is your desired outcome.

Good Luck.