How can I become more charismatic in order to attract people, and women, to me so that I can develop relationships with them?

Wow....nothing.

I think charisma might include not being churlish when people don't respond to you immediately.

Also, you put the emphasis on other people approaching you. What does it take for you to make the first move? It's easier to perceive someone as charismatic when they show interest in you.

Good hygiene,
and a big, relax, warm SMILE, are a good start in my opinion.

adrian r wrote:

I think charisma might include not being churlish when people don't respond to you immediately.

Also, you put the emphasis on other people approaching you. What does it take for you to make the first move? It's easier to perceive someone as charismatic when they show interest in you.

Thank you Mr. Reynolds. As far as approaching others, I have no problem with that. What happens, though, is they seem to quickly lose interest in me. In other words, I'm not able to hold their attention very long. I've tried, instead, to just ask them questions, be curious about them, and get to know them, but that hasn't been working too well either.

Pay more attention to seeing if other people can keep your attention.

simpcore wrote:

Pay more attention to seeing if other people can keep your attention.

Depends on the person.

Posture, breathing, tonality, pacing and leading, congruence and so on can all help. More importantly - is your life interesting to you? Do you do things that are genuinely worth the interest of others?

PhilFarber wrote:

Do you do things that are genuinely worth the interest of others?

Or, for that matter, yourself. No offence intended, but if you're not engaged by what you do, how can you expect others to be? Babies are utterly fascinating to watch partly because they're so wholly absorbed in their activities. Enthusiasm is contagious: what are you enthusiastic about?

adrian r wrote:

Or, for that matter, yourself. No offence intended, but if you're not engaged by what you do, how can you expect others to be? Babies are utterly fascinating to watch partly because they're so wholly absorbed in their activities. Enthusiasm is contagious: what are you enthusiastic about?

Well, people have much different expectations about babies than they do about adults. I once heard an amusing joke to this effect, something about how it's cute when a baby runs out of the bathroom naked and singing, but not nearly as cute when Uncle Bill does it.

Anyway, fair warning to the OP: Just because you're interested in what you do, that doesn't mean that others will be. The stuff you're interested in needs to overlap pretty significantly with the interests or ambitions of the other people. To wit, when I start talking about my latest work with NLP, Markov chains, or the latest games I've played, it doesn't matter how enthusiastically I do it, 99.9% of the population will almost immediately tune me out, going into deer-in-the-headlights "uh huh" mode (a.k.a. "hearing but not listening"). Presenting animatedly can make it harder for them to find a socially acceptable place to cut you off, but it doesn't, in my experience, "infect" them with your enthusiasm. If it did, I'd have a small army of AI researchers at my disposal.