Hi

I have problem with showing an authority around people so to be alpha male. Although I dont have anxiety of approaching a girl, I can hold an eye contact , but I am a nice guy and not alpha...

Is authority learnable skill ? Can I train it ? Do you have some suggests ? Thanks

What do you think will be the advantage once you are alpha?

when you are alpha you simplier manipulate others by men you are more dominant, stronger and by women much more attractive

so is it learnable ?

Of course, everything is, but if you want to get women there are 101 ways that work so why are you focussing on this one you find difficult? I suggest you focus on the things you do easily and naturally.

yes, but my natural things arent very attractive

If you think that, it's not surprising others agree with you. So if you think that, change yourself. Proper seduction isn't about tricking people into bed but making yourself into someone they want to go to bed with.

hypnoben wrote:

What do you think will be the advantage once you are alpha?

Nice question. I'd add - and what aspects of your existing way of life do you want to keep?

There is no such thing as doing "alpha". Alpha purely means the result of being considered the leader. You can become a leader of a group in many ways.

I think what you're asking is being more "masculine" and "aggressive" which probably meant alot more for being alpha a long long time ago than now days. But it's probably still an attractive trait of a man in our soceity still as long as you have other traits to back it up and keep it in reasonable degrees. Just remember that not all women find super masculine men attractive all the time.

With that being said, you can:

- Start working out
- Join a team sport
- Practice public speaking or improv
- Take reponsibility of group activities (making decisions)
- Read the book, "Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida

Finally... Attractin is easy, but it's RAPPORT that builds relationships.

Really great advice in these posts. I would add that your niceness isn't a weakness. You could be the most self-assured alpha out there but if all people are getting is your ego, there won't be much respect coming your way.

Imagine interacting with an alpha you admire and notice how they treat you. Maybe they have a calm self-belief and a genuine attentiveness. Then imagine the same situation through their eyes, interacting with you. What aspects of them would be useful for you to keep for yourself? How much more confidence will you have if you feel this way when you next meet someone? You may even want to be able to do this just by taking a few deep breaths to centre yourself.

Be well!

Hi Michal

Here's an idea - figure out how you want to be (perhaps 'alpha', if that is a good thing) and build a model for it. I would suggest a model of how it will 'be' for you to be that way.

Here's some ways you can go:

1. Build a metaphor for it: "When I am totally alpha, thats like what?" - get into as much detail as possible. If you want to learn more about this approach, google 'Clean Language' and/or 'Symbolic Modeling' - very powerful stuff!

2. Find someone you consider to be 'alpha', hang out with them and pay attention to what they do. What is it that you think makes them 'alpha' (or however it is that you want to be). Then go out for a walk and pretend to be them from the inside out. Let yourself walk like they walk, breath like they breath, notice the thoughts and the feelings. Notice what you want and what you don't want. Make any adjustments that you want to make to make it all just right for you. You may as well anchor it all while you are about it. Do this as often as you need to. And pick some others with qualities you may want to model.

3. What would you need to believe was true about yourself and the world in order for you to start feeling that alpha feeling (yes, I have a kiaesthetic bias here). Indulge yourself and notice what it would be like for you to believe those things fully. Really daydream your socks off.

4. Go out and 'act alpha'! If you are acting, any response you get is never about you, only your act! (unless you wish it to, of course).

5. Be aware of what alpha means to you, of how you want to be. Do all of the above and also start noticing your habitual responses to all aspects of life (not just those you feel are relevant)! Choose to not respond habitually as often as it you can (this can be fun) - just make little changes. This will soften your current 'integrated system' of behaviours and make change a lot easier.

And when all of that is said and done - keep monitoring and adjusting the changes to ensure that everyone is getting nice things!

Another option is that you can come and see me and we can get you some great stuff with the magic of NLP, Hypnosis and Symbolic Modelling.

Have much fun, and enjoy your journey.

James

Felix20000 wrote:

Hi

I have problem with showing an authority around people so to be alpha male. Although I dont have anxiety of approaching a girl, I can hold an eye contact , but I am a nice guy and not alpha...

Is authority learnable skill ? Can I train it ? Do you have some suggests ? Thanks

to my way of thinking, "being alpha" means that you are thinking on the wrong level. That way of thinking presupposes you're appealing to the social factor. But if you get down deeply into a girl's mind, to a place where "alpha" is insignificant.... Thats where the real magic happens. Thats where you can become so powerful, you get to pick and choose, the women who are attracted to YOU.

This isn't a mystery method forum. Its an NLP forum. I would much rather reach the deeper levels of a girl's mind, and truly hypnotize her with my charm, than adopt some kind of superficial posture.

Does that make sense?

@Arlo: To create the real magic deeply in a girl's mind then you are talking about awesome language patterns. If you are reliably eliciting states and using hypnotic language to entrance her then she will have an amazing time with you. If you couple that with deep, strong rapport and a good frame/mindset then what girl wouldn't do anything for you (Alpha or no alpha)?

and careful waht you ask for, as the kind of girls who like to be 'alpha male dominated' might not be the ones you would like to meet.

Who are you and what do you love doing? there are likely to be women who share those interests and you'll have much more fun when you are authentic....

Felix20000 wrote:

yes, but my natural things arent very attractive

Is there any one in particular they are not attractive to?

John

A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be

Alpha, mmm. Do you really want to be Alpha ? Personal experience of men who consider themselves to be Alpha has convinced me that they belong to an outdated mode of life, or to be more metaphorical out there with the mountain Gorillas and the Lions. Do you really want groups of women trailing around after you ? Do you want to dominate a woman or have a partnership?

I have only been a member here for a very short time but I have noticed a few threads with a similar OP. What is attractive to one woman may not be attractive to another, for instance I have a physical attraction to bald men but an even bigger attraction to men who are decisive rather than domineering and show me that they are attracted to me rather than hiding behind a glass book or newspaper and supressing their instinct to smile. We are individuals just like men, we usually like someone with good manners, Please and thank you count for a lot, and like to be treated with consideration, some may like to be dominated but I haven't met any, they sometimes tolerate a certain amount because they get other benefits or because it is all they have ever known.

Looking at what you have written I get the impression that you have a lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities. That may mean attraction never gets a chance, because you don't give yourself a chance. Let's face it, the thought of being rejected is not nice, it can be downright scary to think no one likes us enough to want to spend time with us just for the pleasure of our company.

So why not go to a beginners class in something you are interested in, everyone is on the same level. The only proficient person there is the teacher/ trainer. Dance is a great way to meet women there is always a shortage of men its a great way to get fit, keep fit and you get to have lots of fun. while building up your confidence and social skill with women. Plus when you tread on someones feet you can offer a supportive arm with your apology and a compensatory drink.

When you are attracted to a woman hold the attraction thought with a smile, imagine the two of you doing something together that you enjoy. Maybe you are going to a friends BBQ or you like to watch films or you take your dog for walks, maybe you like lazy sunday morning breakfasts in a cafe. Take a risk, ask her if she would like to do whatever you have in mind. Remember to compliment her in some way before asking. Everyone likes to know that something about them in particular is attractive.

It's possible to learn anything you want to learn if you are prepared to put time and effort into it. What do you realy want?

Michael

re:'Hi

I have problem with showing an authority around people so to be alpha male. Although I dont have anxiety of approaching a girl, I can hold an eye contact , but I am a nice guy and not alpha...

Is authority learnable skill ? Can I train it ? Do you have some suggests ? Thanks"

you have gotten some interesting replies to your posting, some from people who questioned why you'd want to learn "alpha" this context.


yes "alpha" is certainly learnable.

being "alpha"with a lady is acting-nothing more/nothing less. there are those on this website who 'believe" you have to be authentic? in some way or fashion; others say you have "be yourself". unfortunately for many men, do either(being yourself or authentic)hasn't worked for many guys. hence the interest in many trainings teaching men how to more effectively influence women

what you(Michael) are doing is playing around with what works and what doesn't in how you play your role with any particular lady in question.

remember its just acting. if acting "alpha" is effective with any particular lady, then do it. if its not test something else

if you have the resources, you might look into Lovesystems training.

There are many good reasons to carry yourself in a so-called Alpha way. It's a label this becoming clouded but let's talk for about why you should do it anyay.

Learning to walk, sit, and carry yourself in "alpha" way changes your state to one that is more relaxed and confident in all areas of life. If you go into a bar or meeting and always sit with your legs slightly open, shoulders wide but relaxed, etc..it just kicks off the right chemicals in your body. Forget about the women, do it for you! You will find yourself feeling better in ALL environmetns, (bar, work, etc..)

Just to be even more clear, being alpha doesn't mean your being authoritative in a proactive way. If you're sitting in a chair, legs open, leaned back and some guys walks up to you and tells you to move, the state you will be in already will be like "what? who? whatever". You just don't care. He will not affect your universe and he will have no choice but to follow yours. There is no need to be authoritative because you don't have to. Same with girls. Even if they are giving you that "I don't like you" look, they will still sit there and start following you if you are congruent.

I didn't really address the authoritative question but I did want to address the alpha comments since this is an often misunderstood topic. I could actually go on about this one in detail. In the meantime, look at some vids by Badboy. He exaggerates a lot but he is spot on. You will also notice that he doesn't have any tone of assholeness, cockiness, etc.. you can have those but he doesn't. It's just his world and that's all that matter. When you control and BELIEVE your own universe/reality, others will believe it too.

I really liked what you said. However, "Badboy" broughtup too many Google/Youtube possiblities. Can you give more keywords for a search?

nallayskrab wrote:

I really liked what you said. However, "Badboy" broughtup too many Google/Youtube possiblities. Can you give more keywords for a search?

http://www.youtube.com/user/badboylifestyle

gstandard wrote:

Michael

in some way or fashion; others say you have "be yourself". unfortunately for many men, do either(being yourself or authentic)hasn't worked for many guys. hence the interest in many trainings teaching men how to more effectively influence women

Being yourself will allways work, if anything to give you peace of mind and a sense of confidence in yourself that many might identify as being alpha...dont try it backwards...