One aspect of an approach strategy that seems to come up often is "Offering Challenges." I wonder if we can develop an interesting thread to discuss examples of this.

The first thing it brings to mind for me, is saying something like "Some people are imaginative enough to (X)" or "A clever person can (X)", perhaps as a way to start a description or suggestion, but this may reflect a somewhat limited understanding of the diversity of this topic, or of a conversational approach.

These seem like interesting ways to couch embedded commands, especially in someone whose nature is to rise to a challenge. My tendency would be to use more general terms "A person can", "Some people can", in order to be more inclusive and give the conscious mind less to pick at.

Have you tried these on people and gotten responses? I'd be interested to know how a live guinea pig (as opposed to the other kind ) would react to them in terms of facial and body changes.

I don't suppose that the bright minds on this forum will have the time to add to this thread?

I haven't used those constructs for a little while, since I want to achieve better understanding, and have more success with other tools. Maybe I was too specific and would have had better results being more vague as you suggest. It shall be an interesting experiment to try it both ways and compare results!

My hypothesis is, that after eliciting a persons goals for themselves, if they WANT to be a clever person, that a construct like that might be more customized for them, but without having knowledge of those goals, a more general approach would get better results.

Out to the lab!

Metaphors are one resource here. From Aesops' Fables through to anecdotes drawn from tv you saw last night, there are countless examples of stories that are all about egging people on to step out of their comfort zones.

I'm sorry that this message will not be well-organized, but then again, I'm not a linear thinker.
First of all, offering challenges is a frame. So you are constantly doing it. Like, let's say you meet a girl, you shoot the shit for a bit, hit it off, you can say, "You know, we've had a really great time talking and it's too bad we'll probably never get a chance to talk again, but if we recognize we both really want to, what steps would we have to take to make sure that happens?" You challenge her to make the next move and keep things going.
Often times when a girl asks me what I do for a living and I mention hypnosis she will inevitably ask, "Can you hypnotize me?" Sometimes I'll respond with, "Hypnosis is an intense experiences. I'm not sure you're ready for an intense experience."
Or the "Beauty is Common" routine can be used as a challenge, "Beauty is common. It just means you got lucky in the gene pool. What do you have going for you besides your looks?"

Get it?

Let the flaming begin.

russianbear wrote:

First of all, offering challenges is a frame. So you are constantly doing it. Like, let's say you meet a girl, you shoot the shit for a bit, hit it off, you can say, "You know, we've had a really great time talking and it's too bad we'll probably never get a chance to talk again, but if we recognize we both really want to, what steps would we have to take to make sure that happens?" You challenge her to make the next move and keep things going.

Hmm, I never thought of that as offering challenges, but I see how it does offer a challenge. I was thinking of it as a "takeway" approach, where you turn things around, and she has to interest you.

I see the same kind of theme in your other two examples, and this is definitely something I've been on the receiving end of as well. Once its been done to you, you realize its power, and recognize all the times you've seen it done by those who are perhaps less conscious of it.

It always amazes me how a conscious awareness of these natural processes can so enrich the experience of the participants. I'd like to thank everyone so far for their contributions, and encourage any further open minded input on the topic.

adrian r wrote:

Metaphors are one resource here. From Aesops' Fables through to anecdotes drawn from tv you saw last night, there are countless examples of stories that are all about egging people on to step out of their comfort zones.

I think I understand what you're saying, but perhaps if you'd like to share a brief example, it would help to clear up any misconceptions we readers may be forming.

Well, let's take Die Hard as an example. Assuming the person you want to take on a challenge has seen it, you can use it as an example of taking on seemingly unsurmountable odds and winning through.

Some humour along the way can amplify the ridiculous aspects to your advantage, eg 'That Bruce Willis, he took down a whole office block full of terrorists wearing a vest. If he can do that, surely you can ask that Fiona for her number.'

Keanu Reeves and Speed could be substituted for Bruce Willis and Die Hard. And so on...

arlo_ben wrote:

Hmm, I never thought of that as offering challenges, but I see how it does offer a challenge. I was thinking of it as a "takeway" approach, where you turn things around, and she has to interest you.

I see the same kind of theme in your other two examples, and this is definitely something I've been on the receiving end of as well. Once its been done to you, you realize its power, and recognize all the times you've seen it done by those who are perhaps less conscious of it.

It always amazes me how a conscious awareness of these natural processes can so enrich the experience of the participants. I'd like to thank everyone so far for their contributions, and encourage any further open minded input on the topic.

It makes you come across as not needy. It goes along with structuring opportunities. You don't directly invite a woman to a restaurant, you seed it by talking about it. Then, later in the conversation you mention that you and some friends are "going to that restaurant you mentioned earlier" on Saturday and she should come along. Or, when you bounce, you say, "we're going to a different club, let's go."