danieljamie wrote:

i dont want to shag around and mislead people i just want to make new friends and be more confidant . thanks for all your advice

Daniel,
one small suggestion is that you reverse the order of events i.e. build confidence before making friends.
One way to do this is to approach people with the main objective being to go into the lions' den, Daniel - to face your fears.

Various very simple NLP techniques can enable you to sustain enough sense of resourcefulness to at least greet people and ask / answer a few questions.

Social intercourse seldom has the same thrill factor as the other kind (so I'm told), but good companions can turn in to good friends who are not just for Christmas. They may also turn into a layby with you, and thereby hangs a tail! Maybe?

I must now return to the intriguing and illuminating display of rapport building on this thread.

Go well

russianbear wrote:

“By social life, do you really mean sex life? Why so squeamish? - possibly you already think that using NLP to get the ladies in bed is not something that most people would find acceptable? Deep down I mean.”

Ass-u-me. When you assume you make an ass of, well, really just yourself. You assume sex life. I believe the words I used were “social life.” NLP can be used for many things. In the seduction community, the most common application of NLP is by a guru, or teacher, mentor, what have you, to help the student improve his confidence and self-esteem. Helping him access resourceful states to overcome anxiety to approach women he finds interesting.

”I have always thought that honesty and integrity is the right approach when dealing with ladies. I never have been a notch on the bed-head kind of a guy, and I always thought that the Ross Jeffreys approach (for example) was tawdry and manipulative. But then if you've ever seen him you instinctively know why he had to use NLP.”

Please link one single post I’ve made that advocates dishonesty and manipulation. Show me where I’ve advocated being a “notch in the bed kind of guy.” No, I advocate being playful and interested in the other person. So, you’re saying that Ross is what, so ugly he should not be allowed to enjoy pleasant experiences with beautiful women so his only choice is to invest in a self-help program to be able to accomplish what he wants? And if you’re going to criticize the man, you can at least have the integrity to spell his name correctly.

”As to the rest, you make the presumption that I agree NLP can improve "any other aspect of your life". I think in general that the concept of NLP greatly improving life is predicated on someone's life being pretty sad to begin with. Much of NLP is not new knowledge but old knowledge newly analysed and differently applied. Not to say it can't bring some benefits of course, depending on the tools you use. But if you are using embedded commands (for example) to get dates then I think it is all rather squalid.”

You know what your problem is, you don’t even realize that there are a lot of people that use certain techniques naturally. Before I became involved in the seduction community I was already using things such fractionation, pattern interrupts, embedded commands. Now that I’ve learned that these techniques are also used in NLP should I stop using them?

”Still, diffrent strokes fer diffrent folx. If it give you joy then good luck to you. Me, I prefer a little integrity in my relationships but hey, perhaps I haven't needed much manipulation to find good relationships.”

Every time you open your mouth and speak, which in your case usually involves ideas that are not very well thought out, you are attempting to manipulate, so don’t blame me for the guilt you feel or the jealousy that I do it better.

”As opposed to just wanting another notch - believe it or not, some guys need that to maintain their self-esteem and sense of worth.”

I have nearly 500 posts on this forum. It shouldn’t take you long to find one of them that advocates such a lifestyle.

Life is great, have a wonderful day.

Well, Tony. The first word you use in your response is assume which sort of set the tone for the post really.

You then went on to make some of the most sweeping assumptions I have seen for a long time. Talk about defensive, and all this was triggered by a single inoffensive speculation. Apart from that, you assume I was talking about you when in reality not once did I direct or attribute my comments to you, in fact, most of what I said was indicative of my own views. It seems I scratched at a very sore spot son. I feel like I should apologise.

I think you will find that the use of 'assume = ass-u-me" sort of lost its trendiness in the 1970's, and it was never true then. It was just one of those clever little things that some fool thought up to stop people from completing the gaps in what were poorly presented ideas or statements, and it sort of caught on among other fools. We all assume things every day Tony, it is what people do. Still, unoriginality of thought is common and is often associated with mediocrity.

You then go on to say I don't think things out very well, which is a touch ironic really, and launch into a personal attack (offence is the best defence - right?). You even assume you know what (if any) my problem is despite the fact that you know the square root of bugger all about me (not an assumption though - right?) - and the square root of bugger all about NLP as well it would seem.

And finally, you point out that you have posted more than 500 posts here, as if in some way quantity equates to quality.

The one useful thing you implied was an association with the 'seduction community'. Which is probably all anyone could possibly wish to know about you, and explains your great sensitivity. It must be miserable to live a life where self-esteem is so closely linked with genitalia.

You poor guy.

Keep chasing the notches Tony, I am sure you will feel worthwhile if you can only get enough notches.

D

Damn you're a moron. I'm going to give you an assignment. Do not address me until you can fulfill this. FIND ONE POST WHERE I ADVOCATE A MYSOGINISTIC LIFESTYLE. Also, I mentioned 500 posts because that would be a sufficient sample size for you to find such a post, not to brag. Of course, you are the only moron here who obviously can't comprehend what is clearly communicated. Now, if you cannot contribute to this thread, leave.

If I'm "chasing the notches" it should not be difficult for you to back that up with my own words and posts....fucking idiot.

danieljamie wrote:

Wow not sure what to say to all of that !!
I dont agree with manipulating a girl into bed, but i do think NLP being used to improve ones social status is okay, as it is just trying to build trust and rapport. I think it is also good to help overcome approach anxiety.

But my point of this question was that I thought any regular 18 year old english girl would just laugh at the sound of the tricks and jokes in "The Game" book, even though he managed to get so many numbers in it.

Thanks, Dan

Dan,
As I predicted, sadly the thread got hijacked. I'll try to get it back on track, but there are too many Puritans here who are envious of the life I live.
I regularly sarge girls the age group you are referring to (really, the older I get the more choices I have). No, they won't laugh at you at all. They'll be fascinated. For example, you're strolling through the mall and you see a beautiful girl working at the cosmetics counter. You can walk up to her and say, "I'll bet the majority of women who come here for cosmetics would kill their own mothers to be half as beautiful as you are...my name is ...." The lady's reaction will be the same if she's 18 or 38. Trust me on this. Any girl/women/lady/bird will respond the same if you say, "let me show you something interesting" then do one of the tricks/gambits. You just need to have the confidence and courage to pull it off, that's all.

Tony,

Maybe read back through this text and see who 1 first bought up your involvement in SS and 2 made the first insult.

I think this thread got hijacked becasue someone likes talking about themselves a little too much and makes everything about them!

Thanks

Matt

Matt,
Figures you wouldn't let a hijacked thread go without your lack of insight. I'm sorry it offends you that I don't hide my involvement in the seduction community. I was contributing to this post, you know, addressing the original poster's question. You should try it sometime. The first insult was made by the hijacker telling me I need to get out more.

Thanks for demonstrating your intellect and levels of superior communication again Tony.

Whether I am offended or not it something you dont know, one thing I do know is that when I want advice I will not be taking it from someone who by their own admission is poor in their career, on a downward spiral and needs to learn how to make friends from a book.

But hey, rather than look inside for the issues just try and project them on everyone else.

No need to reply, I am not interested in your opinion.

Thanks

Matt

Redsimo wrote:

Thanks for demonstrating your intellect and levels of superior communication again Tony.

Whether I am offended or not it something you dont know, one thing I do know is that when I want advice I will not be taking it from someone who by their own admission is poor in their career, on a downward spiral and needs to learn how to make friends from a book.

But hey, rather than look inside for the issues just try and project them on everyone else.

No need to reply, I am not interested in your opinion.

Thanks

Matt

Oh, I will reply whether you like it or not.

You wrote... "A guy can have a problem. He has trouble meeting women and getting laid"

and

"You would rather deride him and make fun of him"

Show me where I did that.

Please dont mistake disagreeing with you as not being helpful, the way forward for mankind is not dependent on your approval.

Oh so you were the one that had the tough upbringing, everyone else had a perfect time, the sun always shone and there wasnt a day that went by when I didnt skip through a meadow in slow motion. Rather that look at the past to excuse your flaws maybe express your humility next time you are calling someone a moron or not using an insult where an intelligent answer should go and you may find yourself moving forward alot quicker.

Thanks

Matt

There's a difference between excuses and explanations, however, I wouldn't expect someone who lacks critical thinking skills, as you obviously do, to understand that.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

You are boring me now

:-(

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9n_hEazo44"]YouTube - don't laugh in classroom game[/ame]

Daniel,
On behalf of good, honest, wholesome PUAs everywhere, I would like to apologize that your thread has been hijacked and legitimate answers to your query have been lost in a sea of horseshit.

I do not think age matters. I'm a guy in my 30s and I regularly date girls who are 10+ years younger than me.

In fact, most girls love dating older guys. I just listened to this audio on older guys dating younger girls and they said the same thing: the age gap does not really matter.

So it's all in your head.

russianbear wrote:

Damn you're a moron. I'm going to give you an assignment. Do not address me until you can fulfill this. FIND ONE POST WHERE I ADVOCATE A MYSOGINISTIC LIFESTYLE. Also, I mentioned 500 posts because that would be a sufficient sample size for you to find such a post, not to brag. Of course, you are the only moron here who obviously can't comprehend what is clearly communicated. Now, if you cannot contribute to this thread, leave.

If I'm "chasing the notches" it should not be difficult for you to back that up with my own words and posts....fucking idiot.

I know. Everyone is a moron if your not bright enough to understand what they say.

" FIND ONE POST WHERE I ADVOCATE A MYSOGINISTIC LIFESTYLE."

Not a word I used son, you really must try to stop projecting.

Try not to use bad language Tony, it only makes you look limited. You don't want to feel limited and inadequate do you? You know - *that* feeling. The one you used to get when people dominated you. The feeling that whatever you did was futile and born of failure and sterility. That feeling.

Keep chasing the notches son, it is really important to keep doing what makes you feel good about yourself.

Have a great day.

D

russianbear wrote:

Dan,
As I predicted, sadly the thread got hijacked.

That's entertaining. You hijack the thread yourself with intemperate and ill-disciplned language and petulant behaviour and then you complain that it got hijacked.

Nobody really cares if you chase notches in your bedhead Tony, it is just interesting to see the vulnerabilities emerge, the projections going out and the hang-ups generally being evidenced.

You did it to yourself son. You really ought to consider boxing at your own weight. Less humiliating and at least you stand a chance.

Have a wunnerful day.

D

russianbear wrote:

Matt,
Figures you wouldn't let a hijacked thread go without your lack of insight. I'm sorry it offends you that I don't hide my involvement in the seduction community. I was contributing to this post, you know, addressing the original poster's question. You should try it sometime. The first insult was made by the hijacker telling me I need to get out more.

'Seduction community' heh.

Euphemism for sad people who can only get their jollies dominating women and manipulating them into bed so you can somehow feel good about yourself.

The problem is that your reactions demonstrate the very points that people make about you. You prove them right through your responses. Perhaps you should look deep inside yourself, see the real you down there among all the sex-addiction and need to dominate. Ask yourself if it is really worth it being so dark and tawdry. I mean, what is life about if all you have is that little thing a few inches below your navel eh? What is it all worth if all you have to feel good about is manipulating women. You know the sense of self-admiration you get when you manage to bed a woman that wouldn't even look at you if you didn't have your 'special' skills. But it is always so short-lived isn't it?, and you know you know oh so well how hard it is to ignore the look of disgust on their faces as they see you in the morning and wonder how and why that happened. How hard it is to pretend that look really means something else. This is why you only ever get one-night-stands, and of course you kid yourself that this is all you really want because you know this is all you can really get.

Have a look at the look on the face of the next one when she wakes up in the morning, checks you out and can't understand why that happened, check out the look of self-loathing she has, just for that fleeting moment before she covcers it up with something else. You know its there. How she normally aims so much higher. Look for the look of disgust and bewilderment. You know what it is - you've seen it so many times and pretended it was something else.

Know your true worth Mr Notches, look in their eyes to see yourself and know what they think about you, and know this is what you must think about yourself.

And have a great day.

D

russianbear wrote:

Oh, I will reply whether you like it or not.

Its a deep need isn't it? To have the last word. To somehow persuade them 'out there' that you 'in here' are smarter, more powerful and have got more notches. Same as the deep need that will ensure you keep reading this post, all the way to the end, even though you get very bad feelings - you know - *those* feelings, the ones you don't like to talk about. We all know Tony. Some of us sympathise with you Tony. It must be terrible - you know, being you, with all that bad history, all those bad things.

First of all, you have failed to hurt me by making fun of the fact that I was a struggling salesman.

keep saying it. Keep believing it. Keep the bad feelings down. Call it struggling instead of what it is - failed. Keep compensating. Just one more notch, you will be worthwhile and everyone will respect you if you can get just one more notch.

The only reason you knew this is because I told you about it. I'm not ashamed to admit that I need help, and I'm man enough to ask for it.

Keep trying to reframe failure into beinga strength. Nobody believes it, you don't believe it but you can always make yourself feel better if you can fool just one more woman into taking pity on you for a while. Just one more. Its always just one more.

As for the downward spiral, only you think that. I don't have shit now, but I will. It just takes time sometimes.

You never had anything Tony, you know it and now everyone knows it. Count the messages of sympathy in the replies to your rants. See how many people out there think you have something - anything at all. Is it all worth it you may wonder? You already know the answer.

... but I used those experiences to make me stronger and motivate me to become better. I have. And I am.

And we can all see how much stronger and better you are Tony. We can all see it and admire.

Here's the difference between you and I. A guy can have a problem. He has trouble meeting women and getting laid.

And finally, there we have it. You empathise with him. Because he is you isn't he?

... You may like yourself more afterwards.[/quote]

And you know all about that struggle, don't you Tony?

You know Tony, I had something nagging at the back of my mind. Just sort of scratching away... something you said I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"Seduction community"

That's it isn't it? Community - a sense of belonging. A fine bit of reframing. Take a loose bunch of losers and nerds who couldn't attract women because of who they are, now trying to get their own back on a world that rejected them by exerting what they believe is subliminal power. Morph them into an organised mutual support community that you feel you can belong to. And you get bragging rights as well. Wow.

A sense of belonging. That's the key isn't it? It could be anything, it could be the National Association of Axe Murderers, anything, just as long as you feel like you 'belong'.

How very sad.

Have a great day. Get the notch-cutter ready, just one more and you can feel like a real person.

Have a great day dude, God knows you could use at least one.

D

Dear All,

I thought on this thread we were attempting to offer Daniel some support and maybe a little confidence so that approaching females would not seem so difficult.

Seems that a few of you don't have anything constructive to say here other than criticising each others approaches and usage of good communication skills.

Milton Erickson once said to a bunch of psychiatrists in a convention "you are all a bunch of turkeys!" so guys before we throw any more guano at each other think about Daniel what sort of impression is he getting as a new member of the forum?

Ass you can see we can all get crappy on here with posts but heres the challenge lets see how long you can stay off your respective high horses and post constructive support to someone who has asked for it.

Jason

aikijason wrote:

Dear All,

I thought on this thread we were attempting to offer Daniel some support and maybe a little confidence so that approaching females would not seem so difficult.

Seems that a few of you don't have anything constructive to say here other than criticising each others approaches and usage of good communication skills.

Milton Erickson once said to a bunch of psychiatrists in a convention "you are all a bunch of turkeys!" so guys before we throw any more guano at each other think about Daniel what sort of impression is he getting as a new member of the forum?

Ass you can see we can all get crappy on here with posts but heres the challenge lets see how long you can stay off your respective high horses and post constructive support to someone who has asked for it.

Jason

Fully agree Jason. Lets see if we can all stop lecturing each other.

Should work.

D