Ok I know this was said a bit in my introductory thread but I wanted to put some more background to it.

I basically get very anxious (sweety hands, confussion, headaches) and cannot concerntrate or sleep when my ex is not talking to me (Its gotten so bad it controls my life). I got this same feeling when we broke up last time which lead to a depression and me becoming very clingy with people (I always needed people around and have done for the last 3 months).

To give you some background on me and my ex we had been off and on for about 4 years. The first 3 years of those I wasn't to concerned about her or the relationship. She went off and got married to someone else. She then came back to me saying she loved me and for the first time ever I said I loved her (First time I have ever told anyone this). Since then we have been off and on about 4 times and every time these feeling of anxiety etc get worse and worse.

I did CBT for a while and thought I was cured but they have since come back. I basically want to go back to the way I used to be a few years ago where I wasn't to concerned and wasn't to clingy with people. As this now controls my life. I have an addiction to finding a relationship with someone and cannot concerntrate on my work.

I was thinking this (and so did my CBT therapist) may be a fear of abandonment.

Any suggestions on how to achieve this?

Well just had my first NLP session and all I can say is if I was a sceptic before I definately am not now.

The difference I've noticed is huge. Its like my anxiety has died down from being really intense to just a dull murmor in the background (and its usually really bad when I'm this tired).

I think I lied to Julia (the NLP practitioner) about it dieing down 50% though. It's more like 70%

So hopefully the next one will take away the last of it.

jimbobday wrote:

I think I lied to Julia (the NLP practitioner) about it dieing down 50% though. It's more like 70%

You naughty boy! That is great!! I don't know much about NLP, but just wanted to say congratz!

Hey James,

After your second session, let us know how it went.

Second session went great thanks Charles. I can really feel myself starting to get a sense of self now which is a huge improvement.

Some of the highlights were being able to set goals in a completely new way to me. Looking at the desired outcome and reverse engineering the steps from there to reach that outcome.

I also had a stange feeling during this imagery of myself achieving these goes. It was a feeling of both inner peace and excitment at the same time.

This is now the technique I'm going to use during all goal setting exercises instead of my standard approach.

On top of that I manage to further rid myself of fear of abandoment issues. This was apparent after the session when I saw something that reminded me of my ex. This would have usually set of an intense negative feeling in my stomach for minutes if not longer but in this case it was gone in seconds (Which is just a huge leap for me).

All in all loved my second session and have booked in for another session next week