I have joined this site specifically to get help with the exercises in Change Your Lifein 7 Days; a process I'm struggling with. As the stuff is based on NLP (as is my understanding) I have bee searching the net for a suitable site. I've tried discussing this on other forums, but noone really is familiar enough with the books, or at least the techniques. Hence posting here. If I could get some advice I would be very grateful. A lot of the exercises seem to involve imagining things I find difficult; for instance I can't remember a time I felt especially happy - happy enough that it engenders commensurate happiness I can then anchor and build upon. Or confidence, for instance. The first exercise is hard enough: visualise your authentic self and then merge with the positive qualities of that being. Though I don't find visualisation per se particularly difficult or hard to understand, this exercise I do. What does my authentic self look like? I don't know! When i try and generate something i don't get much of a response and subsequently no positive feelings i can merge with are generated. This experience seems key to the whole process and I'm stuck on it! Thanks for any and all responses in advance.

What about the hypnosis CD that comes with the book? Are you listening to it regularly? If you have trouble with visualisation, Paul's excellent hypnosis CD will definitely help you.

Vivek.

Vivek Venugopal wrote:

What about the hypnosis CD that comes with the book? Are you listening to it regularly? If you have trouble with visualisation, Paul's excellent hypnosis CD will definitely help you.

Vivek.

I listen to it every morning, but it doesnt make the exercises any easier. I noticed he starts to do the exercises on the cd as well, but he moves so fast it's impossible to follow; once i start trying to follow him telling me to visualise whatever he's on to the next thing on the disc. I don't have trouble with visualisation per se, just these exercises. How do you visualise your authentic self? What does that mean? I have no ie what that would look like and trying to merge with whatever appears doesn't really inspire feelings of anything.

wishface wrote:

How do you visualise your authentic self? What does that mean? I have no ie what that would look like and trying to merge with whatever appears doesn't really inspire feelings of anything.

Authentic self is quite a 'chunk up' - it's abstract and ill defined as a term, but it's an invitation to see yourself as you would be if you were operating with all the resources you have and want. If it was more specifically defined it may be too leading and therefore limiting. You say you visualise well, how about playing with some images and movies of yourself with different physiologies, noticing facial expressions, tensions in various parts of your body, posture, voice tones etc etc - and just try them on till you find the one that looks, feels, sounds most 'authentic'.

I don't have this book and haven't seen the exercises in it so I may be off on a tangent

Isn't seeing myself superficial? Surely the clothes i wear and the haircut i have is irrelevant. so what am i trying to look at with this visualisation? A man in a sharp suit? A nice clean shaven face?

wishface wrote:

Isn't seeing myself superficial? Surely the clothes i wear and the haircut i have is irrelevant. so what am i trying to look at with this visualisation? A man in a sharp suit? A nice clean shaven face?

I have read Paul's other books but not this one. It is not necessary that listening to the CD regularly will make your visualisation a lot more easier. The CD is intended to change and re-program your unconscious patterns. Visualisation is a skill which you can develop through exercises. I am doubtful whether you are really not able to visualise. Most probably, you are just questioning too much about the symbols you see in your visualisation and being too critical about them. A nice suit or a hair-cut may or may not be irrelevant. What you need to keep in mind is that every aspect of your visualisation has a symbolic meaning with regard to your unconscious. So, it is not so helpful to be too critical about it and it pays to be respectful to it. What do you see in your mind when you are in your best self? How do you look and behave when you are at your peak? You see yourself in sharp suit? Good. No? That's fine too. What is important is how well you are able to communicate with your unconscious.

Vivek.

Vivek Venugopal wrote:

I have read Paul's other books but not this one. It is not necessary that listening to the CD regularly will make your visualisation a lot more easier. The CD is intended to change and re-program your unconscious patterns. Visualisation is a skill which you can develop through exercises. I am doubtful whether you are really not able to visualise. Most probably, you are just questioning too much about the symbols you see in your visualisation and being too critical about them. A nice suit or a hair-cut may or may not be irrelevant. What you need to keep in mind is that every aspect of your visualisation has a symbolic meaning with regard to your unconscious. So, it is not so helpful to be too critical about it and it pays to be respectful to it. What do you see in your mind when you are in your best self? How do you look and behave when you are at your peak? You see yourself in sharp suit? Good. No? That's fine too. What is important is how well you are able to communicate with your unconscious.

Vivek.

As I said; the problem isn't visualisation per se, it's this particular exercise. I don't know how to visualise my authentic self, that's the problem. I don't know what it looks like, so it's not flippant to comment on clothing since that's part of the process. I don't consider clothing importamt. I don't follow fashion, so the outward appearance alone is difficult to get past. I don't see myself as anything in this respect. I have never visualised myself in this way so I don't know what I'm trying to see.

There seems to be the possibility that you may have misunderstood Vivekraj in his previous post.

The picture you see when you visualize your higher/ideal/authentic self is really irrelevant at this point because all it is, is a symbol for you to work with. And, especially, for your unconscious mind to work with. Because, that's the level at which the real changes take place and the level at which symbols, metaphors gain immense power.

As long as when you have that picture in your mind you are reminded of everything you stand for, the kind of life you would absolutely love to have, the kind of job, merits, achievements, financial status, character, power, and so forth, that stand in alignment with what you might call "your ideal self", then that's the picture that you would want to choose.

You may even use a metaphor like a lion or a demigod, or anything else that may serve as a symbol for the things listed above (or required in the book that you have). As long as it is compelling to you, it will work. Add, sounds that empower you, colors that mesmerize you, touches, warmth in just the right places, and anything else that you would like.

It's just a mechanism to set a direction for you to follow. There are no rules to follow except for the fact that it must represent, in a way, your ideals.

My recommendation is for you to play, for a while, with the ideas presented by the people that responded to your posts, notice what changes as you're doing that, and then let us know what new things are beginning to unfold in your experience.

Cheers,
James

QUOTE: "As I said; the problem isn't visualisation per se, it's this particular exercise. I don't know how to visualise my authentic self, that's the problem. I don't know what it looks like, so it's not flippant to comment on clothing since that's part of the process. I don't consider clothing importamt. I don't follow fashion, so the outward appearance alone is difficult to get past. I don't see myself as anything in this respect. I have never visualised myself in this way so I don't know what I'm trying to see."

OK, but I guess, you are able to visualise yourself in some way; just may not be your authentic self. There is an option to start small, and then build on it. That is, just visualise yourself in your normal, everyday self. Once you can get past that, then you can start adding small elements to it. You can work both at the level of content as well as structure. For example, try changing your clothing into something you like a little more, but which does not conflict with your idea of not being too fashionable. After you make the change, notice how you feel. This way, you can incrementally work in the level of content. Also, you you can try changing the sub-modalities little bit at a time, to work at the level of structure. Try changing the brightness, or the qualities of sounds (if any) one at a time, and notice how you feel. Also, I strongly recommend you continue listening to the CD regularly. It will help you a lot in changing your unwanted patterns and for building new ones.

Good luck!
Vivek.

It just seems rather superficial, and therfore counter productive, to use appearance - clothing for instance - as a means of generating confidence.

Then don't be concerned with the clothes. It isn't your appearance that is important. You are simply visualising yourself having achieved whatever it is you want to achieve or being in whatever state you would like to be. Your subconscious will understand and fill in the blanks for you.

you are basically setting a goal with this picture, so if you think your authentic self is someone clean shaven who wears a suit then that is the goal you will be setting yourself.

imagine yourself sometime in the future having become the person you want to be and whatever you happen to be wearing in that picture is fine.

I'm not sure this exercise is supposed to be goal related. There are sections on goals. But I can't think of any specific goal (other than to not have no money, if that's a goal).

I aspire to positive qualities of creativity, happiness, wellbeing, compassion, success, prosperity, etc. But I don't know how to visualise these things. That's the question.

wishface wrote:

I aspire to positive qualities of creativity, happiness, wellbeing, compassion, success, prosperity, etc. But I don't know how to visualise these things. That's the question.

Apart from being a supercoach, master trainer etc in his own right Michael Neill is Paul McKenna's editor so you may want to check out his site at Michael Neill's Genius Catalyst - Bringing Your Genius To Life! Apart from Paul McKenna himself Michael will be fully aware of the intentions that the author had for including that exercise where and when they did.

Having just looked at my copy I can offer my take.

Sometimes, what's keeping someone stuck from living the life of their dreams or the cause of hitting a glass ceiling etc is their self image - so perhaps somebody doesn't feel confident about a particular skill despite having lots of experience and evidence of getting results - it may be that, without being conscious of the fact they are still imagining themselves as they were when they were starting out.

I'd hazard a guess that the reason you didn't know how to visualise things like creativity, happiness, wellbeing is because they are not physical things - you can't nip down to the local supermarket and buy a tin of success or pick up prosperity and put it in a wheelbarrow. Confidence is another thing that falls into that same category. They're also terms that can mean slightly different things to different people.

Personally, I like to define confidence as being comfortable in your own skin. Or as it's used in this chapter who you truly are - your authentic self.

I'd guess this particular exercise is about give you an experience, using all your senses (sight, sound, feelings and perhaps taste and smell). It may be that at the moment (and it's quite possible for this to change in the future) that it's easier for you to play with this experience by using another sense first. So perhaps you could imagine having your eyes shut initially and having a chat with your authentic self first or maybe imagining what it'd feel like for your authentic you to give you a big hug and then inviting you to "step in" so you can experience what it's really like to be your authentic you ...

Like most things the more you do something the easier it becomes. I'm guessing you're reading this book for a reason and I find it useful to remember that focusing on finding the way the works for you right now is more useful than getting caught up in "am I doing this exercise right or wrong".

Have a play and see which way works best for you to connect and experience your authentic self

here is the exercise: Imagine another you standing in front of you. This is the most magnificent you imagineable - your authentic self. Feel totally happy with this image. See how it stands, breathes, smiles, walks, etc. See how it talks to others, handles problems and goes for goals. Then synthesise with this image and feel how good it feels, seeing through its eyes, hearing through its ears etc. Finish by daydreaming about how good living like this would feel.

QUOTE: "I aspire to positive qualities of creativity, happiness, wellbeing, compassion, success, prosperity, etc. But I don't know how to visualise these things. That's the question."

Well, technically speaking, these qualities are all nominalizations; so, it makes sense when you say you can't visualise them. However, what is more sensible and helpful, is to visualise youself WITH those qualities. The frame is, if you were to see your self with these qualities, how would you look? How would you behave? etc etc.

Vivek.

Vivek Venugopal wrote:

QUOTE: "I aspire to positive qualities of creativity, happiness, wellbeing, compassion, success, prosperity, etc. But I don't know how to visualise these things. That's the question."

Well, technically speaking, these qualities are all nominalizations; so, it makes sense when you say you can't visualise them. However, what is more sensible and helpful, is to visualise youself WITH those qualities. The frame is, if you were to see your self with these qualities, how would you look? How would you behave? etc etc.

Vivek.

that's the problem, i don't know.

OK, let me ask you: can you visualise yourself at all? Are you able to visualise anything?

Vivek.

I can visualise myself as I appear now: what i look like and what i'm wearing. Those are material things. Visualising myself with the aforementioned qualities and thus what appearance within (and without) that would create is a different thing because they arenot physical qualities.

Indeed, they are not physical qualities. And as you have noted, there are many material aspects to that visualisation you have. What I have pointed out earlier, is that each of those material things you see in your visualisation has a symbolic meaning as far as your unconscious mind is concerned. When you visualised how you look presently, you communicated to your unconscious to give you that outcome. If you look to that picture closely, you will find that it is not exactly as you would see if you were to take a photo of yourself and see it. It is an approximation. Now, when you communicate to your unconscious to give you a picture of how you would look if you had those qualities that you want in yourself, you should be getting a nice picture or movie of yourself with the qualities, unless you have any objection to the visualisation or any particular aspects of it. And many times before, you have explicitly stated your objection with regard to the appearance, clothing etc. Hence, I suggested the option of starting small and slowly building it up.

Another option: forget about yourself. Can you think of someone you know (may be a role-model or a person of influence) who is confident etc? Someone who has some or all of the qualities you have? If you can, what do you see in that picture/movie? Try to notice the specifics, without attempting to consciously change any of the aspects of the visualisation.

Vivek.