Hi guys,

I'm fascinated with NLP and have done quite a bit of reading up on the subject over the years and can really see how it can help and understand many of the principles. Unfortunately I just can't seem to actually put any of it into practice on myself.

I suffer on and off with anxiety, especially anything performance related (presentations, meetings, groups of people etc). More recently it has got even more stupid to the point where I have become very self-conscious about just talking in general. i.e. rather it being a sub-conscious activity I have been actually thinking about what I say at a conscious level and as such making myself even more anxious. All of this is just trashing my self confidence.

Where would you experts start with something like this ? I simply need to go back to communicating becoming a "subconsciously competent" activity rather than a conscious one as it is turning into.

Any pointers/tips/starting points much appreciated!

Practice works

Put practice in the context of becoming less self-conscious

And practice. You'll probably never be completely non self conscious or totally un-nervous though. Those things do have their uses.

Thats the process that most speakers go through. Use your imagination and model that process.

Ben,

making a few assumptions as follows:

You assume that you are broken in some way.........

I am going to assume that you are already familiar with the 5P's (Proper Preperation Prevents Poor Presentation) and that when giving a presentation you practice before hand.

Also I am going to assume that when going to a meeting that you have a clear understand of the purpose of the meeting, why you are attending and what outcome you want from the meeting.

As you have been doing some reading on NLP I am also going to assume that you have come across some techniques like the Swish pattern.

Where you recall in your minds eye a time that you were nervous before a presentation or meeting etc. and in the corner of this image put a small very dim image (like on a computer when you have a window open and an icon in the task bar for another application/program) and you swish the picutre (expand the other icon) so that it super-imposes itself over the negative image and this new image is how you want to be when giving a presentation confident...... eloquent...... relaxed....... comfortable......... prepared........ able to field questions with ease....... make this new image rich in colour and brightness and see it as though you are looking through your own eyes, hear your voice and how confident it sounds now...... and notice the feelings of calm confidence.... feel yourself smiling and enjoying yourself......

I would try this technique out... and when I mean try I mean 4 times a day for a week as a minimum.

If none of this works then if you are in London and able to get there book onto my Positive Thinking Course we cover presentation and approach anxiety Course Search » Greenwich Community College the next course starts in September 09.

Jason

Hi Ben,

You might find our short and free e-course on Performance Anxiety useful. You can find that here: Field Learning e-courses - Overcoming Performance Anxiety.

Written by Judy Apps (a voice and performance specialist) and it covers perhaps the most common anxiety around. For more from Judy see Improve your communication skills and power to influence by learning how to use your voice and NLP..

Cheers

John

An Indian princess,named Meera of the Rajasthan kingdom of Mewar, got married to a brave but egotistical prince Rana. He was so jealous of his wife that he never let her out of the bridal chamber. He had always twenty attendant lassies around her.
Meera was a devotee of Lord Krishna["Girdhar-Gopal"]=Her hymnal prayer song--"Mere toh Giridhar Gopal doosra naa koi---Mine is the peacock feather-capped handsome Lord Krishna to whom I am devoted and none anyone else."
This statement incurred the wrath of Prince Rana, that he ordered an attendant to serve poison-bowl laced with honey. Seeing and knowing, what Rana was upto ; still deep into devotion towards Lord Krishna, Meera drank it and lo behold escaped death by a miracle powered by Lord Almighty."

If anyone , wants to get rid of his own asumptions of fear, one can follow the above example in a adapted format. Substitute NLP --for Lord Krishna.

Even Jesus Christ , once spoke as--" Seek and I shall help you, ask and I shall guide you; follow and I shall show you the path to the Kingdom of God." AMEN.

Then , why thou doer haveth fear; in the path of NLP --- you control your senses.....go ahead pal.

Enjoy

Ben,

You are doing what I used to do, using learning as an excuse for not doing. You need to stop.

You say you can't. That is a distortion. You are doing something else instead of doing the things you want to do and are still afraid to do. Unfortunately, in this case, it sounds like you are turning your study of NLP into an obstacle instead of allowing it to be a resource. This is like studying food, but not eating it.

Stop reading about NLP and start using it. Just randomly pick a technique and apply it to something. Swish pattern. Reframing. Anchors. It doesn't matter. Then keep applying it to other things. Keep going. Once you are confident with that technique, pick another one. Apply that. Keep going!

Dasein

the_player wrote:

Hi guys,

I'm fascinated with NLP and have done quite a bit of reading up on the subject over the years and can really see how it can help and understand many of the principles. Unfortunately I just can't seem to actually put any of it into practice on myself.

I suffer on and off with anxiety, especially anything performance related (presentations, meetings, groups of people etc). More recently it has got even more stupid to the point where I have become very self-conscious about just talking in general. i.e. rather it being a sub-conscious activity I have been actually thinking about what I say at a conscious level and as such making myself even more anxious. All of this is just trashing my self confidence.

Where would you experts start with something like this ? I simply need to go back to communicating becoming a "subconsciously competent" activity rather than a conscious one as it is turning into.

Any pointers/tips/starting points much appreciated!

Ben

I guess (as oppose to think), you have to watch what ever it is that you will have to say some of the time, sometimes.

For example. You say you want to fix yourself? That's good for dogs! You also say you want points - as in pointers? What kind of a language is that?, coming from a dude like as your name implies.

May be just break-state from time to time 'ala hula dance like what Michael Hall demonstrate in his free intro video sales.

Also I think a dose of laughter will do you some good, patterns. My point is reserve for her who will eventually one day trip along my way. I just couldn't resist not responding to your post.

Get your laughter to work for you! Dum* A!, your anxieties dissipates and no more. No one's smarter on me than me, and you - onto you!

Laugh!