Hello community! Hows everyone doing?


Ok, i will go straight to something that concerns me a long time now.

When i learned more advanced techiques about nlp and saw the whole thing more seriously and mature, i begun an "ellimination mission" to throw away anything in my life that makes-ed difficult.

So far so good, i feel a better person now and a lot more happy and confident.

But...

but....

there is just a tiiiiiiny thing that concerns me and i left behind, cause i dont know how to deal with really - time management.

I just dont know why, but i cant follow a sheldure despite the fact that i tried many times.

For example when i have exams at university at 12 pm , i will be there too late(we are talking about seconds now o_o) or just.. too early(1 hour,maybe more)

Ofcourse this "curse" is exteding almost to all others areas of my life , from cleaning the house to a date.


What can i do about this?

Can anyone here suggest me a solution or at least give me a clue?


thank you all for reading this.

What would you like to happen?

thank you for the reply.

good question.

I want if i say "I will go there at 5" to be there at 5 and not to be there late or too early.

Also if i say "i want to study this book" ,to study it and not to do something else or nothing.

etc etc

Hi guys!

Marcus, when Chris asked you about what YOU WANT TO HAPPEN, in effect you answered by saying what you DO want to, but it seems suspicious to me that in the same sentence, you wrote about what you DO NOT want to.

I would first aproach the time issue from two fronts:

1.- How do you manage your emotional states when being early or being late? What do you do for motivating your self to go to the university when having an exam? Of couse being late to an exam is not a good expected result. Being "too" early is not such a big deal, at least it affects your life in such a non desiderable way. If you get too early to the university, just engage yourself in a fun activity such as .... you complete the dots! and using time distortion one hour would seem 5 minutes.

2.- Being late may ocurr by either you waking up late or by external circumstances (not under your control - such as heavy traffic - ). In the latter case, just wake up earlier!. Wich takes me again to the question "how do you (un)motivate your self for getting out of bed, or stopping doing what you're doing (even if doing nothing) to go to the exam? or going to a date? or cleaning the house?

On the other hand, that "curse" DOES NOT spreads ifself to other areas of your life. That is just an useless belief, so put it into your "ELIMINATION MISSION" (holly shit.. we're fed up with "missions" here in my country"). So pay attention to what you do inside your head to "procrastinate" those activities. Pay attention to the strategies you have, and the believes supporting such strategy.

As a final word, i'd like to tell you that we're talking about a single symptom coming from a more "complex" situation. So i'd would ask you: "what else do you want in your life other than being on time?"

Best regards

Thank you for the reply

franlyagostini wrote:

1.- How do you manage your emotional states when being early or being late? What do you do for motivating your self to go to the university when having an exam? Of couse being late to an exam is not a good expected result. Being "too" early is not such a big deal, at least it affects your life in such a non desiderable way. If you get too early to the university, just engage yourself in a fun activity such as .... you complete the dots! and using time distortion one hour would seem 5 minutes.

You have a point suggesting that being early is not really a big deal.Now that i rethink about it , it really doesnt harm me at all, at least not in the level i was thinking (waste of time, or something like this)

Now about the emotional states , well , i just kinda "accuse" myself from repeating this faulty procedure and earning again this negative result(being late) but after some seconds i just calm down and say to myself i will try my best next time and not be late.

Hmm, now i rethink about it, there are differents aspects in my life where i set "high" priorities or "low" priorities in time management.

When i want to be at airport i never get there late , but when i want to hang out with friends i arrive just in time or kinda late.

What i dont like about this is that i am-or have the belief- a "last minute" guy.You know, the bus leaves at 12:00 and you are at station at 11:58.You may catch it, you may not, but the whole procedure even if you catch the bus , makes you anxious.Ok, you are making yourself feel anxious and not a lifeless procedure but still..

On the other hand, that "curse" DOES NOT spreads ifself to other areas of your life. That is just an useless belief, so put it into your "ELIMINATION MISSION" (holly shit.. we're fed up with "missions" here in my country").

Hmm, now that you colored this thing as a "belief" , i dont know why, but it feels easier for me to "elliminate" it (war language^^) as i see the situation more clear now


In fact i thought some things by the time i begun to write this post and reaching this lines and ..hmm... i think it easier for me now to add a "fix" on this.I cant explain this and may be sound kinda weird.

Looks like i just needed a good guidance and the right questions.
Lets see if i see positive results.

If that was the case thank you both for this : )

As a final word, i'd like to tell you that we're talking about a single symptom coming from a more "complex" situation. So i'd would ask you: "what else do you want in your life other than being on time?"

To tell you the truth, the bold letters scared me a bit :P
How would you mean it in a different way?


.
What i want in my life , well... i have dreams and ambitions(some small some big and some way too big ), i hunt them and i know i will catch them sooner or later.NLP tools helped me greatly in that part.

Hi Marcus

'Just' for fun (but certainly thought-provoking), here's a link to George Carlin shaking up some common linguistic representations of time:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5M5eG-aywZQ"] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5M5eG-aywZQ[/ame]

Marcus,

I share your problem, although I have devised a strategy which makes my life a whole lot easier and reaps me huge benefits.

Looking at this

When i want to be at airport i never get there late , but when i want to hang out with friends i arrive just in time or kinda late.

makes me not want to share my strategy as you have a working strategy yourself but only use it sparingly. That is your choice, you chose to live by it and you will reap the outcomes it brings.

My motivation to change my time keeping strategy was through frustration that one of my friends was such a looser that he would be so unorganised he dragged the rest of us down. We used to meet at someones house for drinks before going out, we'd meet at 7 and then get into town for 9pm. If he found out we were going out we'd all lie to him and say we are meeting in town at 9 and he should give us a call when he is 10 minutes away and we'll let him know where we are. He missed out so many great nights by turning up late.

The point in which made me want to change was when he'd lie-in bed until midday and then make me late, it came to a point when he made us late for our karate grading. After 4 years of training 4 times per week this looser cost me and himself his black belt just for an extra hour in bed. What a looser. He was one of the cleverest people in school and now, 10 years on, he earns minimum wage and does a crappy job. He has been over looked for every promotion and been left out of many social functions because of his timekeeping.

You say you are using NLP skills, when you see the future you, the sophisticated, successfull version of you, is he known for his reliability and time management or is he known as lazy, unorganised and unreliable? These are not skills that can be turned on and off.

Blue_Seed wrote:

To tell you the truth, the bold letters scared me a bit :P
How would you mean it in a different way?

Ohhh i'm sorry for the scary thing!! JUST PUT IT ON SCHEDULE FOR THE ELLIMINATION MISSION!! PULVERIZE IT!! DON'T TAKE IT PRISSIONER (War language eh!) and transform it into a more pleasent experience such as ..... hmmmm ...curiosity aproaching!!..... just as .... you fill the blanks!

I would WRITE ir in a different way, but the meaning would REMAIN the same. So the question is... "how would YOU UNDERSTAND IT IN A NEW, DIFFERENT, AND PLEASENT WAY?"

Best regards!

@Ben

that was a hilarious and clever stand-up comedy act.Thanks for sharing this

@Matt

Your story was very motivating.I certainly dont want to be like your friend you are talking about.
You are right, we must respect time as we respect our lives.Because sometimes being late in time may lead to being late in life..

Thank you again for motivating me to consider some extra things about this whole time-thing.


By the way i have a small "status report" to share with you all people.
Last day after my last answer , i had a meeting with friends at night.
I wasnt late, i was there at my time (5 mins earlier ok).Also today i said i will do some specific things and in fact i did them, all, with success.


I feel so stupid now that i realise it more clearly. All this time this problem was only my choices and point of view of "priorities".And its solution was just a swich on/off -in front of me-



Thanks again people for this. : )