Can I use NLP to change my sexual orientation from gay to bisexual? I want to expand my sexual repetoire to include women. Is this possible?

If this is a genuine request, you're more likely to get a helpful reply if you give the details of what you want to and what stops you getting it.

I am tired of being gay and living the gay lifestyle. I want a wife and kids. I have heard of people who changed their sexual orientation. And so I am wondering if i can do this with NLP?

You want to change your lifestyle by changing your orientation? Have you thought you could change your lifestyle and still be gay?

Honestly I just want to go from gay to bisexual so that I can have a wife and kids. I think I am this way because my dad and mom died when I was young and I was abused by my uncle.

If this is genuine, you could PM me your phone number and we could talk.

It is genuine. I will message you

Could someone change their sexual orientation using NLP? Like from gay to straight or vice versa?

sven_johansson wrote:

Could someone change their sexual orientation using NLP? Like from gay to straight or vice versa?

I think almost any kind of brain change is possible (tho perhaps not always practical or healthy). Perhaps NLP doesn't cover the whole range of brain change, but might be a part of some strategy.

Concerning sexual orientation - I would consider that a very deep form of neurological patterning - what we used to call an imprint (and which word I'll continue to use here for simplicity's sake), as opposed to conditioned behavior. Most NLP techniques address conditioned behavior (even, I would suggest, Robert Dilts' so-called re-imprinting). The techniques for changing imprints/deep neurological structures depend on factors including intensity and duration. In short, the "treatment" would be something that would really blow your mind all at once, and/or that you would practice or be exposed to for years.

Imprints are the structures upon which conditioned behavior may be patterned. That is, everything you learn or do is understood in the context of your imprints. These are the structures that underlie your model of the world - changing an imprint may have ramifications in every area of your life. Ecology issues on a grand scale, shall we say. In plain English, it could really screw you up.

To my mind, what might be necessary to change a sexual orientation imprint would be a) extremely intense, b) of some duration, c) and possibly somewhere on the far side of ethical and legal boundaries.

Dear Sven,

For what its worth I don't believe it is possible or ecological to treat sexuality. NLP is however about greater choice. I respect your belief that what happened to you biased your sexuality in your view. This is not an uncommon pattern.

If that is the case, I would ask you if you have worked on the original abuse issues ? I do not expect an answer on a web forum.

I guess what you are looking for is a woman you find attractive, wants your children and would tolerate your bisexuality. They say there's someone out there for everybody...a truism I like, but whether or not you are attracted to her, no one, IMO can make you.

There are after all plenty of legal and ethical ways gay men can have children.

FWIW my advice to you is to enjoy sex with folk who respect you, nearly exclusively. Only you can define your true sexuality and know what is in your heart, IMO.

Regards

MH

sven_johansson wrote:

I am tired of being gay and living the gay lifestyle. I want a wife and kids.

With respect: it appears that you have already begun to change. If that's the case, what do you think would be the next thing that needs changing?

I have heard of people who changed their sexual orientation. And so I am wondering if i can do this with NLP?

I used to know a woman who went from lesbian to bisexual and, last I heard, really wasn't all that interested in women. She did not do anything intentionally, though; she told me that she, one day, noticed that she had been noticing men.

This sort of change is quite obviously possible, given the right circumstances. I don't know of anyone who has modeled it, though. And I'm sure you know of many people who would be very unhappy if it were to be.

I don't think "therapy by forum" is going to be very helpful for this. My advice is find someone skilled and work with them 1-2-1.

It's possible to change almost anything, given enough creativity and determination. You can even change your eye colour, if not hypnotically then using those coloured contact lenses, or a felt tip pen.

The question is whether the changes you're asking for now will be what you want in the longer term. I suspect there are other ways to get what you really want, and those are worth exploring too.

You'll probably want to find out what will work best for you as an individual. You'll get better results if you explore this with someone 1-2-1 rather than asking hypothetical questions on the internet. All sorts of things are possible - that doesn't mean they'll be a good idea or even work for you personally. There are different options to explore.

Good luck and be well.

Sven,

How you getting on buddy?

You wrote this

Honestly I just want to go from gay to bisexual so that I can have a wife and kids. I think I am this way because my dad and mom died when I was young and I was abused by my uncle.

I appreciate your honesty and I want to ask you a little more as to whether you think that the things that happened to you as a youngster are 'good' reasons from which to base such big future decisions on?

I cannot see the link between getting married and having children and that easing or changing the pain from your past. Does that make any sense?

I wonder how many people set conditions for their happiness? Such as 'when I earn x amount per year I will be happy' or 'when I get married I will be happy' when in fact getting married is little more that a big party when you put a ring on your partners finger. After that life just goes on pretty much as normal, there is every chance you will still feel the same way as before or maybe the problem will manifest itself in a new way.

It sounds like you could be dealing with the symptoms of the problems and not the problem itself.

Good luck with whatever way you choose to go forward and please do share your thoughts and progress.

Thanks

Matt

Sven, if you'd like to speak with someone of your native tongue. Please feel free to contact me, I don't live too far from Stockholm. And I have extensive knowledge of the HBGLT-community.

malcombhead wrote:

I guess what you are looking for is a woman you find attractive, wants your children and would tolerate your bisexuality. They say there's someone out there for everybody...a truism I like, but whether or not you are attracted to her, no one, IMO can make you.

Maybe he could aim higher than someone who'd breed and "tolerate" him? Does the word "love" exist in your world?

Dear Connor,

Yes the word love does exist in my world. It was a poor turn of phrase on my part, and I apologise to Sven, and indeed yourself for any offence caused.

Regards MH

In fairness to Malcomb
Sven never mentions 'love being a requirement,goal or desired outcome over the five posts he put up here.
He has used certain keywords such as 'gay lifestyle','sexual orientation' 'gay', 'straight', 'sexual repertoire'.

While Malcomb is suggesting from what he believes he has read to be the desired outcome there is actually no need to have had to include Love as one of them?
This fits with Svens language patterns to date.

However 'Love' certainly opens up new possibilities of discussion which may or may not fit with Svens desired outcomes.
'Love' as an outcome, now there's a challenge. No one has of yet ever been able to successfully come to an agreement as to what the hell this elusive emotion actually is and plenty of poets have tried


Peter

peter108 wrote:

In fairness to Malcomb
Sven never mentions 'love being a requirement,goal or desired outcome over the five posts he put up here.
He has used certain keywords such as 'gay lifestyle','sexual orientation' 'gay', 'straight', 'sexual repertoire'...

What strikes me as strange is this: "I'm tired of being gay and living the gay lifestyle." Why would anyone feel they were "tired" of their sexual orientation? Can one be "tired" of being straight? I may be completely off base, but to me it's like saying "I'm tired of having blue eyes." This sounds to me like the language of someone who believes sexual orientation is chosen, which is not a position shared by any gay people I know personally.

And raise your hands who here believes there's such a thing as "the gay lifestyle"? The only times I've heard that particular phrase before have been when it comes from someone expressing their belief that being gay is somehow unnatural. Sven, my apologies if you're on the level, but I've known gay people since I was a child (which believe me is a long time), and never heard anything like this language from any of them. It sounds eerily like someone is trying to get us to say sexual orientation can be changed with NLP. My deepest apologies in advance if I'm talking out my arse here, but nothing about Sven's story rings true for me, right up to "I think I am this way because my dad and mom died when I was young and I was abused by my uncle." It just sounds like a scary homophobic story made up by someone who thinks someone else can make you gay.

peter108 wrote:

However 'Love' certainly opens up new possibilities of discussion which may or may not fit with Svens desired outcomes.
'Love' as an outcome, now there's a challenge. No one has of yet ever been able to successfully come to an agreement as to what the hell this elusive emotion actually is and plenty of poets have tried

"Love" as an outcome is sort of like "armchair" as an outcome. We love by loving, and you're right - we don't even know what that is, exactly. Not a thing, that's for sure, IMO.

But ain't it great anyway?

Hi Bridget
I have had a couple of clients who used the exact same term that Sven used regarding 'Gay Lifestyle' and 'Gay scene.'

Both found that the pressure of living a lifestyle that they justified as problematic for them in their lives left them feeling that they wanted another solution to this aspect of their life.

I agree with you regarding the idea that sexual orientation is chosen V natural inclination. Both of my cases were questioning it as Sven appeared to be?

Peter

I have also heard similar statements about gay lifestyle and upon inquiry it turned out that the issue was more one of social pressure to conform and be accepted, rather than sexual preference. I can certainly understand how someone can become tired of prejudice, exclusion, and so on, tho I've known very few people who became tired of sex, whatever their orientation. Perhaps Sven will return to clarify for us.