Hi there

I finished my practitioner training two weeks ago and I want to put my knowledge in practice. My friend asked me to help him with procrastination. He would like to be motivated to study and learn more. Especially he would like to read more books about psychology(his hobby) and he would like to study on his exams to get to university.

Right now I got understanding of many NLP tools and I am looking for some example(script) or step by step process how to work with him and how to put all tools I have learned together. So how specifically I should approach?

You could just mess with his mind slightly. Ask him how,in detail, he would put off procrastinating till tomorrow.

Does that sound too simple to be worth trying yesterday?

Hi Nick thanks for your time and piece of knowledge,

I would love to try this. Just to make sure I understand well, I basicly askim how would he procrastinate to procrastinate ? Please let me understand this simple idea. What is theory behind it? Can you please give some structure / step by step proces for solving procrastrination as NLP Practitioner?

What could you do to put of putting off, what you are putting off.

the big question is. What is it that causes procrastination?

Sometimes the answer is lack of motivation, sometimes it is fear of failure, sometimes it is possible consequences that are not wanted.

Sometimes its the scale of the task that intimidates.

Try the babysteps technique, break down the task into componant parts focus on just the first thing until it is complete, Then think about the next part and so on.
Even seemingly simple tasks can be broken down in this way. E.G. Striking a match. 1. Pick up the matchbox. 2.Turn the box so that it has the drawer facing up. 3. With the free hand push the drawer halfway out. 4.Select a matchstick. 5. Grasp the match. 6.Withdraw the match. 7. Close the drawer. 8. Strike the match on the rough surface.

Peter,

One of the main things I have learned since my training is that people don't neatly fit recipes. A script assumes that a person will fit in a box called motivation/procrastination and you may well find that not everyone who initially uses those words will want the same thing from you. I think NLP is mainly about choices and flexibility so you will have to be prepared to make it up as you go along, just focus on process rather than content you should be fine. Having said all that here are some suggestions.

Ask "How do you do procrastination, if I were to be you for a day what steps would I take to procrastinate" Get your client to break the process into steps as Margret says so that they become aware that it is something they are choosing to do rather than something that just happens to them.

Once you have discovered how they procrastinate, explore what happens when they don't, ask "are there some things that you just do with out going through the procrastination formula?" What is the procedure then?

Now ask "So how do you decide which tasks to procrastinate on?" Again you are making it clear that this is a choice.

Depending on the answers you may want to find what benefit it they gain from procrastination and consider parts integration.

They might realise that they don't actually want to do they thing that they procrastinate over. It might just be that it is difficult and they want some ways to get started on the task and feel motivated.

One suggestion is to consider using their procrastination formula, on their procrastination. (my initial suggestion) The aim here is to experience the whole thing as a waste of time.

My second suggestion is to find where they physically feel the procrastination, where does it start and where does it move to? Start spinning that feeling then take it out of the body and turn it upside down so that procrastination turns to the opposite, what ever that may be for them.

At this stage you may be done, but you might consider a little trance work to help embed any good suggestions that have come up.

Hope this helps.

PS Useless fact. I used to go to school with a guy called Peter Toth in Reading England, many years ago.

Nick and Margaret thank you for your time and piece of your mind.

Especially Nick thanks for remind me of be aware of labeling people and Margarget thanks for telling me certain technique I use.

PS: Nick. My name is pretty common so I am not supprised you know some Peter Toth. Now you know two of us

WHY is impossible to procrastinate despite contrary “Evidence”?
By Anita Kozlowski-Live with Power NLP Seminars ltd.

Many times clients will come to me with a "problem." They believe they have a specific problem based on some tangible, verifiable "facts" they interpret as evidence of having that "problem".

When I ask them why they think they have that problem, they will give me these very "facts," to support their belief they have a problem, and often their body language will reveal how deeply committed they are to holding this belief. After all, they like to be right. RIGHT?

Often their "problem" shows as an inability to complete things, or waiting for so long that this which required completing became obsolete. I call it patiently becoming even more patient. Its good to be patient, isn't it?

This obliteration serves as further evidence to support their belief, which they turn into a global identity statement-"I am stupid, lazy, unintelligent... I am not worthy (often accompanies by light wetting in their eyes), etc" , firmly supported by further evidence of not having completed that which needed to have been done and wasn't, couldn't, hadn't.....and so on and so forth...but should have, would have if....etc.

I love those statements as these are fun to challenge.

I look deeply into their eyes and ask them, "So how long have you been procrastinating or rather...... you used to believe you would not be able to do that which you believe is important and you want to change now"?

"Ohhh, 15 years", for example, they will say. So I say, "Wow, you are good at this. Very, very good....So how do you know when to start doing this (stopping themselves from doing")? They immediately give me a whole bunch of details in which they delineate their strategy (and let me tell you, very precise, details are abundant, prolific creativity….).

So I say, "Wow, Hmmmmm, you even know how to do that, you know when to do that and you want to change it? Why"?
How do you know you don't want to change it now? Obviously it used to work for you?

Then they give me their values. "Why is it important to do that?" I then say, "Cool, obviously you are very good at that. You are master. You had been successful at precisely completing your strategy for many years. You could teach Procrastination Master Classes. There is money to be made, did you know that? Hard cash to be made.... and enjoyed....

You rock man.... You really do.... So you had, at least in this instance, not procrastinated. How about If you applied the same strategy to completing something, for example going to the bathroom, with a huge need. Wouldn't it be useful to withhold going so you would have more time to devote to developing further excellence in.......... procrastinating?" Three times a day.... adds up to half an hour if going is slow, you know. Sometimes once is enough to disrupt the day. I’ve known of being in there for an hour...a loooooong..........time...

Their eyes go in loops, reversed twists and random zooms...

Then they nervously giggle. Then I say, "What is it you don't want to do and want to stop procrastinating doing"?

They give it to me. We then apply the same mental strategy they already gave me earlier and we apply it to a behavior.

I find it a lot of fun examining and reframing sets of underlying beliefs. Some beliefs are real rockers, they really are.

Hi,

What I would do is find out what is the positive intent in his procrastination. What is he getting by doing so? Make that alternative unpalatable. Elicit a timeline and bring these things he procrastinates with to "Now". Use submodalities to make it urgent (first find out what he thinks is urgent and acts upon it. Elicit urgency submodalities). Replace the procrastination ones with the urgency ones. Test.
Reframe those things he procrastinates with. Use propulsion systems to make procrastination unpalateble. That's a good start.

Good luck.

anita

Again Anita, another great post, thanks

How to help a friend with procrastination? By not bothering. Find out how long it takes them to get you to motivate you to help them as you said you would. The strategy they use to get you to help will work with them.

southnick wrote:

You could just mess with his mind slightly. Ask him how,in detail, he would put off procrastinating till tomorrow.

Does that sound too simple to be worth trying yesterday?

I love that. I'm knicking it I love those questions that bring a 404 error to someone's face as they process what you just said.