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Go figure! The button that says "Quote" is the one that does that ! ? ! No wonder I missed it

Thanks!

I would be more likely to recommend listening to the customer, to hear what is most important to them... when they are buying a car...

For example - a customer walks in to buy a car, because his old car, that he had for 15 years, has fallen to pieces, and is no longer repairable.

What could you get from that?

Well, possibly he is a person with a sameness pattern, with respect to his vehicles. If so.. talking to him about the newer and better and different features may not resonate. You would go further showing him how this new vehicle is "just like the old one" and is in perfect condition.

Or maybe you could deduce that he is using an away from pattern.. (don't want to do any more repairs)... and you would go far in explaining how "this vehicle is guaranteed... has been checked out by our detailed service department...no more breakdowns. you will have no out of pocket repair costs...

And.. more .. when they say "I have to talk it over with my husband/wife/friend/neighbor/ etc .." Do they really mean they have to talk it over with them. Maybe they need external validation on their purchase? Then they may be more interested in testimonials from other satisfied customers, than the internal focused purchasers.

And so much more.. Probably could be a whole separate topic of discussion.

Tony, keep an eye on copies of Creative Selling coming in to sites like AbeBooks (current low price is just over $50) and also places like Title Trader, a book-swapping site. You might want to look at internet auction sites, also.

Bridget,
what is creative selling about?

Elaine,
you young, beautiful, successful woman you, i will pay attention tomorrow to those strategies.

It's Ben Feldman's book on selling.

Bridget,
You young, beautiful, shining example of the possibilities of NLP, is that truly the best book on his techniques? I've also heard of one written by someone else that sells for a pretty penny called The Feldman Method.

Can't say if it's the best, my knowledge of the subject being nearly nonexistent, but I think it's safe to say it's the one nearest the source.

It was also apparently updated a couple of times, so Creative Selling for the 90s is the latest edition I saw when I was doing a bit of quick research as to how you might find what you need cheaply. Good luck with all that!

Somehow I doubt I'll find what I need to know cheaply. Therefore it's a vicious cycle.

Somehow, Tony? How exactly? How did you learn to do that doubt, and what were the steps you took to go there? And knowing that, how will you do it differently now - form your outcome of learning what you need to know, and set the evidence for reaching it? Because that's how the human nervous system works, and you have one of those, don't you?

And how do you do confident expectation? Because I know there are things in your life right now that you expect with confidence. What does that feel like, I wonder, and you can too. And then you can take all that confident expectation and move it into the space where you used to doubt and sense whether that feels different, see how the situation looks different now, and sounds different as you say that thing to yourself that you always say inside - and you can say it out loud, too - when you know a goal is not only possible, but expect it with confidence. Because your nervous system needs a goal to reach for, and evidence to test against, and if you give it those instructions and thank it for doing the job it's always done for you, it will just keep on expecting what you ask of it and finding evidence that what you expect has actually come to pass. Isn't that cool? Or is it just you?

Not sure.

And how do you do confident expectation? Because I know there are things in your life right now that you expect with confidence. What does that feel like, I wonder, and you can too. And then you can take all that confident expectation and move it into the space where you used to doubt and sense whether that feels different, see how the situation looks different now, and sounds different as you say that thing to yourself that you always say inside - and you can say it out loud, too - when you know a goal is not only possible, but expect it with confidence. Because your nervous system needs a goal to reach for, and evidence to test against, and if you give it those instructions and thank it for doing the job it's always done for you, it will just keep on expecting what you ask of it and finding evidence that what you expect has actually come to pass. Isn't that cool? Or is it just you?[/quote]

confidence begins as a feeling right in my gut and spins in a forward fashion.

Okay, let's assume the human nervous system - it's a pretty safe bet. And you already know where confidence begins and how it spins, so you can play with that - find that state of "I"m fucking UNstoppable!" - make it spin faster, spin it all over your body, up and down and around from your toes to your eyelashes, over and over - all that stuff. It's free crack, basically.

And how about confident expectation? You have a strategy for that - expecting things will turn out well. You have a way of making the pictures, a feeling, and something you say to yourself when you feel that way, or perhaps a gesture that's been out of consciousness until now. Do a little exploring and find how you do it, and do it some more. When you find the little tap for the right mix of chemicals, remember where that is so you can turn it on anytime you want to do it now.

"Vicious cycles" are self-generated, I think, like "rotten luck" and a whole host of other labels we put on experience, which is nothing more than data until we assign a meaning to it. If your (goal-seeking, remember) nervous system knows you're expecting vicious cycles of not getting what you want, trust me - it will find them and find more of them, because that's the instruction you've programmed into it. If, on the other hand you go inside now and ask yourself "What are some of the best, most elegant and most fun ways I can discover how things go right in my life?" it will find them and find more of them.

That's what I think, anyhow

I couldn't agree with you more. I need to get my head straight. I've been really depressed lately, I think that has something to do with the funk I'm in.

Okay, if I laugh at that statement, will you think I'm laughing at you? I'm only laughing near you, I promise. So walk away from that funk (Go ahead, get up, walk away. I'm totally serious), and then when you get somewhere else, even across the room, look at that guy back there and figure out how he managed to get there. He had a strategy for that, and when you learn it (a little NLP skill known as modeling) you can learn how to do something else instead.

And we're miles from Ben Feldman, and that's my fault, and profuse apologies to anyone who'd rather be reading about sales, 'cause I don't know jack about that. But Tony, how do you want to feel instead? And how do you feel this feeling, and see it, and hear it? And how easy would it be to bring up those pictures and sounds and feelings and feel that right now instead of the way you felt back then when you perceived yourself as "being" depressed. And then how easy would it be to anchor that to a picture, or a word, or a touch, or some easy-to-remember combination thereof. Because you can also think of "depressed" as something you do. You learned to do it so well you weren't even thinking about all the steps required to do it. But you can now. And you can, in the words of the infamous NLP presupposition, do something else. And when your body/mind thing has a choice between feeling that old way and this new way, it will always make the best choice available to it now, so every time you start to approach the dreaded funk, your nervous system will go "Wait! I like this state better!"

And have fun with all this state-change stuff. Make yourself laugh. Smile a lot, because smiling (and laughing) releases endorphins (more legal crack).

So enough of that funk and everything that was in there, now that you're somewhere else, breathing in a new way, and using a new posture, and remembering to smile now - right now, and everyone can get back to Ben Feldman.

How do I want to feel? Like I'm the master of my own destiny. I see myself in a nice Armani suit (slimmer than I am now) feelling like I'm ten feet tall, and when a customer comes in a tiny part of me feels sorry because I'm going to seperate him from a little bit of his money, and he doesn't even know it. But it's okay, it's for his own good. Then I hop into my Mercedes (only a c-class, I'm not that flashy) and drive home to entertain friends. That's how I want to feel.

Hi Tony,

When you visualise feeling like this, do you feel depressed?

How do I want to feel? Like I'm the master of my own destiny. I see myself in a nice Armani suit (slimmer than I am now) feelling like I'm ten feet tall, and when a customer comes in a tiny part of me feels sorry because I'm going to seperate him from a little bit of his money, and he doesn't even know it. But it's okay, it's for his own good. Then I hop into my Mercedes (only a c-class, I'm not that flashy) and drive home to entertain friends. That's how I want to feel.

Hold on to your dream, visualise it every day various times a day and see how you feel and how you become then!

Violeta

Violeta,
You beautiful, amazing NLPer, when I vizualize that I feel like I am the king and the world is my kingdom and there is nothing at all that I cannot do.
I don't know why, but set-backs have a strong affect on me. I get disappointed quickly. I'm too impatient. I want positve results, and I want them now, even though I know that any results are a learning tool.

And now you know what to do when you find yourself in a state with not enough access to your resources. And visualizing yourself in your "king of the world" future gives your mind and body a direction to point you in. Start walking!

Hi Tony,

Bridget is right, when you become impatient visualize yourself as King of the World and you won't believe how good you feel!

Violeta

Hi Tony,

What did you notice spending a day selling the dealership and yourself rather than the cars?

BRIDGET AND VIOLETA, only because you are such beautiful, sweet, amazing women, I will do the vizualization thing today.

NICK, I noticed the customers were a lot less defensive when I didn't try to "sell the car" so much. Also, when I could notice from their physiology and speech that they were beginning to feel defensive again, I would start talking about something else, like something I knew we had in common from the earlier parts of our conversation.