This is Not How It Was Supposed to Be...

That's Right!

Violeta

I'll work on a list tonight of things to be thankful for, and I'll post it tomorrow.

Hay Tony

I'll work on a list tonight of things to be thankful for, and I'll post it tomorrow.

The list whats to be for the things you "are thankful for" not "to be" thankful for- if you place things in the future i.e "to be" then something might get in the way and you might have to navigate a different path so your are setting yourself up - for a potential downfall- yet if you focus on what you do have- right now- it will be more empowering for you..

Be at peace

Jay

I am thankful for:
People. The many people, from my family, to friends, that have helped me when I was down to stand back up again. I'm thankful for their compassion and love.
I'm thankful that I have been fortunate to live long enough to suffer as much as I have. Many die in childbirth, early infancy, childhood or early adulthood and don't make it to see 32. According to a Chinese palm-reader, I am destined to live a long time which means I'm fortunate to an extent.
I'm fortunate that today I have been able to meet my basic needs long enough to enjoy a conversation with a good friend on the other side of the Atlantic, then to go to the library to log on the internet to share my thought with all of you, and later, I'll go visit my mum and my cat who now lives with her.
I'm thankful for the lessons others have taught me that have made me, for good or bad, the man I am today.

I am always thankful for clean sheets and towels. Clear, pure drinking water. Plumbing that works. Heat in the winter. Healthy food. A good night's sleep and a choice of what to wear in the morning.

Then, there are the bonuses! Like having my husband beside me and a good cup of coffee in the morning. Oh, and all my good and caring family and friends (and family *of* friends!)!

Take care All,

Oops! Did I forget to mention my kitty-kat??

Venus :-)

I had a deal with myself as to how I expected my life to go. It hasn't gone that way because of myself and I'm not at all happy about it.

Interesting Tony, on two levels.

The first is that it is great you are taking responsability for your beliefs and actions. That to me means that you are willing to move forward in life and better yourself. A great outcome and IMO shows a willingness to learn from your actions.

The second is where you are focusing your attention.

It hasn't gone that way because of myself and I'm not at all happy about it.

Perhaps where the "not at all happy about it" stems from, is it that you are focusing on the end result of achieving the goal (how I expected my life to go)?

I once thought that my life was supposed to go in a certain direction and many of my friends knew that I was serious about achieving the life I believed I wanted and how my life was supposed to look. When thing did not go according to plan I, got upset, felt ripped off and became unhappy.

When I changed the way I looked at things and accepted that whatever happens is OK and began to use this knowledge life became less stressful because things do not always go according to plan.
The NLP presuppositions "If what you are doing is not working try something else " and "There is no failure only feedback" are great tools to use to overcome and understand that things do not always go according to plan. When you learn to accept this and ask yourself the questions that will help you to move forward.


What am I aiming to achieve?
What have I achieved so far?
What feedback have I had?
What lessons have I learned?
How can I put these lessons to positive use/ to move forward?
How can I move forward from here?
What I something new that I have yet to try?

Using the knowledge gained from feedback means that not only can you maintain your goals/outcomes but you can also navigate the hurdles and challenges that arise when things did not go according to plan. You are now in a position to pick yourself up and have another go.

Use the journey of achieving your goals to your advantage, by noticing what happens when you do things, begin to notice what you do and how you behave in certain situations, as these are all feedback opportinities and situations that will assit you to achieve your goals.

How do you measure your success?

Have a great day and let me know how you go and if you found this helpful.

Frederic

...a place to come home to, shelter from the rain, windows that let in light, the light the windows let in, enough to eat and drink, socks and shoes and feet to put in 'em, opportunities, teachers, things that make me laugh, things that look and/or feel and/or sound and/or smell and/or taste good, the first cup of tea in the morning, good books, other people...

Gratitude is a great habit, 'cause the more of it you have and allow yourself to feel and express, the more stuff you notice to be grateful for. It's the self-replicating, self-expanding, self-multiplying, non-fattening, all-natural habit that contains no artificial sweeteners, colors, or preservatives, provokes no allergic responses, and has no sell-by date.

Brava Bridget!

If you learn to appreciate the little things in life the rest follows effortlessly...

Violeta

I am thankful for:

Holy Smoke, man. I'm almost jealous. What else do you have?

I am thankful for...friends who are not afraid to tell it to me as they see it...autumn leaves...bare branches after the leaves have fallen...walks on dreary Sunday afternoons...walks on sunny afternoons at Conkle's Hollow...apple crisp with cinnamon ice cream...hunger, which reminds me of the gift of food...nights of sleep...those sleepless nights I had which help me to appreciate the sleep I now have...nights when I sleep peacefully...nights when I brux (I can't believe I'm saying that)...anyway...

Isn't it wonderful to experience this roller coaster we call life? I think...yes!


Phil

Tony,

This advice may be worth what you paid for it, or more. You get to decide.

1 Stop trying to get therapy here. This is an internet forum, not a therapy room, and you'll get the good, the bad, and the irrelevant offered.

2 Search out a real therapist and get real therapy in person-- communication is primarily visual and there is no visual here. There are lots of therapists in the regions in and close to Ohio (that's where your profile says you live).

Choose well.

Greg

Greg,
Sound advice. I think what I need is less therapy, more a swift kick in the ass. I have the resources to accomplish my goals, I just have to access them.

If you choose the 'kick in the ass' road - let me know - it's my speciality!

:P

Al,
Fine. But you must belittle me and use lots of profanity in the process. Like I said, I have the resources. They're in me. I just have to access them to acheive what I want.

Fine. But you must belittle me and use lots of profanity in the process.

Is it also necessary for him to wear leather and carry a whip?

So, what are you prepared to do to make me help you?

Is it also necessary for him to wear leather and carry a whip?

Those items are optional.

Vy govorite po-russki?

Adrian, I don't think people can make other people do anything. We all do things for our own reasons. I can create opportunities, offer challenges, but I can't make you do anything anymore than I can make it rain.

OK, so you recognise the futility of asking others to get you to do something?

Al,
Fine. But you must belittle me and use lots of profanity in the process. Like I said, I have the resources. They're in me. I just have to access them to acheive what I want.

Is the Pope Catholic?

Have fun man.

Tony,

Al is really good at ass-kicking, and he can swear like a sailor.

I would recommend that you hit him up. Too bad you don't live in Essex!

Phil