Maybe people's compassion comes from their belief abotu people. Maybe we need to change their belief in people in general.

ie. You change someone's belief about cat's and they treat cats differently.

Also maybe we need to install a belief that people do'n' need to share our model of the world. How do you do that?

Sam,

For me, the root of compassion is not just my belief about other people, but my relationship to them. In other words, the crucial element for compassion is the "we."

(my name means love) phil

Some of it may be the realization of how totally many people are on autopilot, and how absurdly they see themselves as the embodiment of free will. While to others their behavior may seem grossly reactive, trapped in generational patterns, painfully infantile, living out fantasies and myths they hardly comprehend... the great Japanese director Kurosawa Akira seemed to have an essential grasp of this quality of human awareness and non-awareness..

Hi,

Phil wrote:

For me, the root of compassion is not just my belief about other people, but my relationship to them. In other words, the crucial element for compassion is the "we."

Bravo!

Violeta

Hi All
Just saw this thread and though it might be worth looking at this from another perspective.

By compassion I mean acting with others best interests in mind.

I can be compassionate about a persons situation and act with their best interest in mind though this would be my perception of what is their best interest, would it not? Or am I missing something?

Are my actions really in this persons best interest? I wonder.

I'm alarmed when I see some NLP practitioners who seemingly act without compassion. I'm alarmed when I see any helping professional act without compassion, as any human being, as any person in an authority position.

I think that in the context of Sam's initial post it has more to do with ecology. Could this be what is meant by being ecological in the context of NLP?

I can show empathy and compassion towards a person and be there for them but is it warranted for me to intervene. I can make the first move and offer a helping hand and be there for them in any capacity they need and that to me is compassion.


Sure, there is a point where an intervention is warranted, enven when unwanted, potentially life threatening situations come to mind.

Though, if someone does not ask for help is taking action still considered in anothers best interest? Just a thought.

Have a great day

Frederic

What do you believe about the golden rule? Do you think it works? Do you think people don't always reciprocate? Do you think it's treating others with our model of the world?

anony67 wrote:

What do you believe about the golden rule? Do you think it works? Do you think people don't always reciprocate? Do you think it's treating others with our model of the world?

Most people do seem to try to follow this and treat others as they would like to be treated. Sometimes this works. Of course at other times, that may not be how an other would like to be treated! How many times do people complain "After all the things I have done for you..".

I sat down on a bench and was chatting to a young girl who mentioned that it was her boyfriend's birthday. So I asked "Have you got anything special planned?" and she described a long list and it was all very sweet. I couldn't resist the temptation to ask "So, is that stuff he really likes?" and she just stopped dead and looked horrified for a while. I think she had planned HER ideal birthday for him!

Compassion is all about listening and being open, really appreciating the other persons intrinsic and potential value - then doing the right thing, in my opinion, as ever.
It's also about having the courage to take flak for what you're doing if they or others don't like it and not to change the fundamental baseline of compassion.

This may be interesting/useful...

In Chapter 20 of the Lotus Sutra, the Buddha tells the story of a monk who became a bodhisattva called “never-disparaging”. In Japanese, he’s called fukyō bosatsu (不軽菩薩). In this story, the monk is sometimes ridiculed by others, but he never gets angry. He never studied the texts, nor did any advanced practices, but he just kept bowing to everyone he met. Or, to quote the Buddha:

Now,…for what reason was he named Never Disparaging? This monk, whatever persons he happened to meet, whether monks, nuns, Laymen or laywomen, would bow in obeisance to all of them and speak words of praise, saying, ‘I have profound reverence for you, I would never dare treat you with disparaging and arrogance. Why? Because you are all practicing the bodhisattva way and are certain to attain Buddhahood.’

The monks in his time were arrogant and insulted him sometimes, or sometimes people would throw rocks and sticks at him, but the monk would run to a safe distance and bow to his offenders, saying “‘I would never dare disparage you, because you are all certain to attain Buddhahood!’”
In time, the monk, near death, was awakened to the great Lotus Sutra. Not the literal sutra we read, but the true Lotus Sutra that is the Dharma and transcends all words.* The monk realizes great wisdom in the process, becomes a full-fledged bodhisattva with a great life-span and many powers, and then goes on to teach and lead many beings to enlightenment as bodhisattvas are apt to do.
The verses toward the end of the chapter are revealing as well:

When the people heard this,
they gibed at him, cursed and reviled him,
but the bodhisattva Never Disparaging
bore all this with patience.
When his offenses had been wiped out
and his life was drawing to a close,
he was able to hear this sutra (i.e. the Dharma)
and his six faculties were purified.

The notion of forbearance, or patience, is also one of the six paramitas, or perfections in East Asian Buddhism and elsewhere.

ref: Bodhisattva Never-Disparaging « The Level 8 Buddhist



(The school of Buddhism I practice is based on the Lotus Sutra btw and Bodhisattva Never Disparaging is a major figure in my personal practice... and a big challenge!!)

Just a few thoughts

:cool:

Nigel,

Thank you for this wonderful post. What a lesson!

(my name means love) phil

Thanks nigel, very nicely put and heart felt.

BTW Congratulations, I have never seen one of your post get so many thumbs up.

Have a great day
Frederic

...and I would certainly never disparage the person who gaves me a thumbs down, because they are certain to attain buddhahood!

:cool: