jonathanaltfeld wrote:

This 'technique' comes from Dave Dobson. Kenrick has attended courses from Dave, so that's why you might have found a description on Kenrick's site.

And while yes, it is 'covered' by NLP, most NLP folks that have strolled into my seminars over the years have not attempted this with me or with other NLP students (and yes, I would know, because I'm always sorting for these kinds of things). So apparently either they didn't get trained in that technique, or they're not that conscious of their behavior from across the room while approaching a stranger until they get closer or begin to talk. Because the unconscious hello (whatever each person's unique 'analog' signal is/are) happens extremely briefly, almost always before verbal contact begins.

Hope that clarifies things on this topic.

- Jonathan Altfeld

I agree with Jonathan, and a variation of the technique also covered on my STEALTH DVDs ( however its not called the unconsious hello).

As jonathan states the key thing is to watch people say hello and then track there unconscious signals,

Marc
www.persuasion-skills.co.uk

silverback wrote:

Barndoor Back.

;-)

In caption competition stylee


Look no hands

persuasion_skills wrote:

I agree with Jonathan, and a variation of the technique also covered on my STEALTH DVDs ( however its not called the unconsious hello).

As jonathan states the key thing is to watch people say hello and then track there unconscious signals,

Marc
www.persuasion-skills.co.uk

Hi Marc,

Good to see you.

Please don't misquote me, Mark. What you're quoting/adding -- as it pertains to the specific technique known as the unconscious hello -- is not the 'key thing'. That is not what I was saying or implying.

(Note: I'm not diminishing the influential usefulness of what Marc's added here, just seeking to maintain accuracy on what I was referring to and what is specifically known by the term described here). After all, matching/mirroring while someone says hello is also useful. But it is categorically not what is referenced by the 'unconscious hello' technique. Just to be clear, here).

If one is watching people say hello, then they've already missed it (the unconscious hello). Saying that's what I said or implied -- actually implies that persuasion (& NLP calibration) is something one turns on only once one gets closer in proximity. That's like only using "the force" when you need a jedi mind trick or when it's time to pull out the light sabre. As opposed to walking around being aware of "the force" at all times. Being a Jedi, as opposed to only knowing Jedi techniques.

To do this right, one needs to be in uptime a lot earlier than "watching them say hello" implies.

(note to Mark: I could be wrong about what's behind those words, but I'm only going from your words here, and your words imply one would be starting a bit late -- where it comes to this specific technique).

The "key thing", as I was communicating or attempting to imply it, is that the opportunity to use the "unconscious hello" technique is long gone once the person is actually saying hello verbally.

The moment usually happens instantly as a person enters a room, right as eye contact is made, or while walking down a street or hallway the moment they consciously acknowledge someone else is approaching, but long before they've decided whether or not to say anything.

Any technique you're referring to while someone is already saying hello -- may also be powerfully persuasive -- and (or but) it has nothing to do with (and occurs much later than) the specific technique referenced here.

Accuracy is... important.

Regards,

- Jonathan

Completely agree with Jonathan.

In my brevity I did not clearly make the distinction that you have to look for the unconsious Hello before the hello happens verbally

Marc

Hi Jonathan and everybody else,

jonathanaltfeld wrote:

The moment usually happens instantly as a person enters a room, right as eye contact is made, or while walking down a street or hallway the moment they consciously acknowledge someone else is approaching, but long before they've decided whether or not to say anything.

To expand just a bit on this, a mnemonic I use is from the old musical number, 'Some Enchanted Evening'...

'...you may see a stranger
across a crowed room...'

It's the moment that they notice you noticing them, no matter how far away they might be from you, that is the moment to track for this and react, in my experience.

If you miss it, it's usually no big thing, there's plenty of other things you can do to gain rapport later, assuming you get the chance. Under normal circumstances, it's just a good little head start.

Where it can be crucial is in situations where you might not have the time or opportunity to build much in the way of rapport with someone before you need it. Job interviews, networking parties and blind dates might be good places for this...

So, if you're meeting someone for the first time who's attitude towards you and decisions about you will quickly be essential to your outcomes, it's a really powerful and useful thing to notice and do to build crucial bridges before you need to cross them. Or so it seems to me.

Great thread everybody and good distinctions, methinks, Jonathan.

Be Well,

Michael Perez

I use it, it's a lot of fun :p

I'll be mixing witha truckload of old colleagues tonight, so am going to use this inthe field tonight.

I'll give feedback tomorrow.
I'll do it for a bit before the cider kicks in and the drool production unit fires up!

So Al, pray tell, did you manage to use the technique in the field last night or has the 'excess' of cider not left your system yet, with the possibility of soaking your keyboard in drool?

well, i did it a COUPLE of times, and it all went downhill from there.
Yet I did concentrate on cominicating unconcious intent, and i calibrated or hallucinated that more often they were successful.

mind you - felt better the more bulmers i drunk, so me cally skills might have been off a bit ;-)

And happy birthday to me today too.

al

Hey, happy birthday, Al!

Happy birthday Al, at least you had a bit of fun with it, I guess more cider is in the pipeline for tonight then

No - I was good - nice meal tho - cracking lunch at Jamie Oliver's dad's pub..

kickass!

thx for the shout out fella and lass!

To expand a little on what Michael has said, from an observational point of view, I have unconsciously become more aware of this, I say unconciously as today is the first time I realised what had been going on for a while.

I enjoy people watching, always have done, just noticing and noticing the noticing, however I used to feel uncomfortable if people looked at me, looking at them, that was until I began to smile when they looked, almost without fail the smile would be reciprocated, it appeared to put people at ease. I wouldn't like to guess what it means to people, but it doesn't seem to upset, quite the opposite really.

This led me to thinking, how do they know that I'm noticing them, and I also realised I notice people noticing me, it's almost like our sight stretches beyond that which is physically possible, almost eyes in the back of the head stuff. I realise we are subconsciously aware of more than we know, beyond periphery, and expanded awareness like no other. I think it was Eric Robbie, in Manchester, that said we notice more in the periphery than we do in normal vision, it's just that we ignore a lot of it, the same as not hearing ones own mobile, whilst being able to hear others straight away.

Whilst out driving my car today, I was sat at traffic lights looking out of my open side window across to the local airport, so my focus was on infinity, just then a car came round the corner and in a flash the woman driving caught my eye as I caught hers, a reciprocal smile and she was gone. She came round the corner quite fast as it is a large junction with two main roads crossing, initially she wasn't in my focus, but I locked on at the very moment she saw me, it was an aha moment and the reason why I've posted this now.

I guess we do it all the time, it's just noticing that we do it that makes all the difference

Amazing stuff, Stephen. My mother told me when I was quite young that you (read I) could make someone turn around by staring at the back of their head, make someone shift their leg position by staring at their feet (even - especially - if you were off their sightline), and wake someone up by staring at their closed eyelids. She said we always know unconsciously when people are looking at us.

As an adult I read in a book of psychological studies on the human face - where I did not expect to find a statement so "unscientific", if you will, of something the author called "the power of the eye to gaze." He (she?) said something similar, that people have unconscious awareness of when they're being looked at, even from behind.

Spooky, innit? But then we're a spooky lot, humans.

Hi Bridget, and Stephen,

You might enjoy the book, The Sense of Being Stared At by Rupert Sheldrake, which covers that phenomenon, and many others like it. Worth a read.

As for unconscious hellos, I don't like it when people talk of 'doing it' - coldly - to someone, as if they've pulled a trick, got some magic power over them (shades of that speed seduction stuff). Bleh.

It works fine when it comes from the heart, you're centered, and if nothing else says I wish you well. I still treasure the now-famous novelist who said, when we first met, some years ago, "I knew as soon as I saw you I liked you."

(And then there's What Do You Do After You Say Hello?)

Eric.

also check

Chaos, Creativity and Cosmic Consciousness by the same author

You might enjoy the book, The Sense of Being Stared At by Rupert Sheldrake, which covers that phenomenon, and many others like it. Worth a read.

Just ordered it on Amazon


If the above lights my fire then these are next:

Chaos, Creativity and Cosmic Consciousness by the same author

There's also one about dogs, but I can't remember the exact title

Hi Eric,

ericrobbie wrote:

As for unconscious hellos, I don't like it when people talk of 'doing it' - coldly - to someone, as if they've pulled a trick, got some magic power over them (shades of that speed seduction stuff). Bleh.

It works fine when it comes from the heart, you're centered, and if nothing else says I wish you well. I still treasure the now-famous novelist who said, when we first met, some years ago, "I knew as soon as I saw you I liked you."

Good distinction there, methinks. It's all about intent. And since people have unconscious systems that sort for intent, that's why, in my experience, that might be why people who use this stuff in a very artificial way without a full appreciation for the ecology of the situation in mind tend to come across as just plain creepy!

ericrobbie wrote:

(And then there's What Do You Do After You Say Hello?)

Card Tricks?

Be Well,

Michael Perez

Hello again Eric and Micheal, I hope you're well. I see the speed seduction stuff from a completely different angle to you and Micheal.

1) Speed seduction can quite easily be used for seedy purposes, granted. I hope more women study it in detail to be free from the effects. The speed seduction has lots of mind or language sleights, that I'm sure you're both well aware of, but it also has entwined lots of confidence boosting excercises that some people genuinely need to be better behaved in the company of women.

2) How do I know this? Well, I studied it and found lots of it very cheesy and a small amount of it highly effective and pretty much impossible to stop. As Ross Jeffries is taught by Kenrick Cleveland and he, Kenrick, pretty much devised the unconcious hello, I think it's fair to say that ethics, when thrown out of the window, play a large part in the handling of anything powerful.

3) Being very shy of women before, to the point were I physically hid from them, because they threatened me and who I was. I found it great for self esteem and to be able to communicate with them much better on their level because I understood them much better.

4) I understood them more on many levels and I find that many of them are basically neglected by people who don't know speed seduction. Therefore, that makes speed seduction very easy to work. Speed seduction 'WILL NOT' work on someone who is happy in a relationship, it simply chips away, rather quickly, at the bits missing in a relationship if any.

5) My wife couldn't believe how geeky they all are and told me to turn off the dvd as they're totally uninteresting and sad. I think that just about sums that up.