Hi

I have a business -www.seminarboost.co.uk that promote seminars and workshops - I am surrounded by positive people and all understanding personal development. I understand how limiting beleifs hold us back and through NLP and tapping I thought I had solved most of my "success" issues, so why do I still get so far and then do something really dumb to sabbotage myself and my confidence.
Why, when I have the answers in front of me do I still get it wrong?

Idea's /hammer for hitting on head - all grateful!

How do you know it's really self-sabotage? If your techniques for dealing with self-sabotage aren't working, maybe what's going on is something else?

seminarboost wrote:

Hi

I have a business -www.seminarboost.co.uk that promote seminars and workshops - I am surrounded by positive people and all understanding personal development. I understand how limiting beleifs hold us back and through NLP and tapping I thought I had solved most of my "success" issues, so why do I still get so far and then do something really dumb to sabbotage myself and my confidence.
Why, when I have the answers in front of me do I still get it wrong?

Idea's /hammer for hitting on head - all grateful!

let's start somewhere very interesting... :-)

what exactly want you to be able to do that you can't do now?

have fun

Bart

bart wrote:

what exactly want you to be able to do that you can't do now?

hmmm ..I have had that conversation with myself - don't know! ..if you did what would you say? ....
and the answer that I came up with is ..pretend
which in it self is quite an eye opener..I suppose I pretend that I can and I pretend that I can't do things because of business and due to business.
so if I was truly successful I would have to stop pretending & start being..interesting!

seminarboost

Karen, I don't know whether or not this is of use:

Ask that part of you that did something dumb, what it wanted for you?

(You don't need to express what it is explicitly here, just recognise what the part's purpose was.)

seminarboost wrote:

hmmm ..I have had that conversation with myself - don't know! ..if you did what would you say? ....
and the answer that I came up with is ..pretend
which in it self is quite an eye opener..I suppose I pretend that I can and I pretend that I can't do things because of business and due to business.
so if I was truly successful I would have to stop pretending & start being..interesting!

seminarboost

sure it might of course be helpful for you that you can be more specific about what you want ...

so

what does 'pretending' helps you avoid feeling?

have fun

Bart

I used to believe in self sabotage, I now find it more useful to just say "That was a dumb thing to do. Do I really want to achieve this? how can I get things back on track?"

I'm sure that we occasionally muck things up to avoid the consequences of success, but checking in with yourself and then moving forward seems to produce a better outcome.

Calling it self sabotage can get you stuck in all sorts of iterative loops that don't really server the greater purpose which is probably some variant of "To live, to love, to leave a legacy".

Do you need permission from sombody else to succed or do you have it yourself?

Maybe the intention of the unconscious circuit that stops you from success, is trying to remind you of a value that you may have ignored that would be important for you in the midst of success?

self-sabotage is a process that uses hindsight... i.e. reflecting on how what you did compares to what you wanted to happen... it's a trap in that there would be no self-sabotage if one didn't use hindsight to check on one's progress.

actions are simply learned responses that can be interrupted and replaced with other behaviours... forget whether it's self sabotage or simply just something you'd rather not do again while striving for a certain goal... interrupt your behaviour and replace with behaviour that brings you closer to what you want.

good luck