Hi all, I am new here so apologies if this isn't the right place to ask but I have an NLP limitation to overcome. My limitation is about delivery because I have learnt plenty of patterns but I get people interrupting all the time and it's not easy for me to make the pattern work because people get lost in content and start replying when all I want them to do is listen. What's the answer?

Welcome Dave. Do you ever eat at McDonalds? I have found that McDonalds is a wonderful place to practice not being interrupted. Once you can say your order in one sentence, without them stopping you midway through to ask about something you're about to tell them anyway, then at that stage you know you can achieve pretty much anything in life.

I could give specifics but sometimes I think it's the specific patterns, techniques and rules that get in the way of making a genuine, authentic connection. The best thing is to relax, have a clear intention and practice creatively as you improve more and more.

Find out for yourself... what works and what doesn't? Play with different sequencing, rythmn, vocal qualities, and more.

Or just set a massive "shut up anchor".

Remember... use whatever you have to your advantage (within your ethical framework). A lot of people think NLP is about going in a certain direction - being confident, having personal power, impressing others, being liked, etc.

Why?

Those are just options, and there are other options too. What's going to get you what you want?

NLPers who need to be liked/admired all the time probably don't have enough real friends. You shouldn't need your clients or students to prop you up. That's one of the biggest mistakes I see people make, and it's a major limitation.

When you genuinely know who you are, you don't need people to reflect that back at you. It's very freeing.

I'll leave it there, before someone shouts "MINDREAD" from the gallery.

Have fun!

Chris wrote:

I'll leave it there, before someone shouts "MINDREAD" from the gallery.

LOL! I am such a lousy NLP'er 'coz I can't seem to find any!

Dave, I think it's partly a skill to help keep your clients to the structure to gets things moving. Sometimes, even we as NLP'ers may not be able to even recognize when the client is wallowing in the content; other times, when we do, we just don't know how to get them back to the structure. It's a good thing that at least you are aware when things are getting out of hand. You may try to intervene politely when the client slips into content and tell him/her that you won't be needing all that for this process. This is a skill that you can develop over time. So, I would say, keep to it.

Vivek.

If people are "interrupting" you then you probably have insufficient rapport to start doing your "pattern". People always have a bunch of things on their mind to say (just like YOU) so let them say their stuff first. Then when they calm down you can, with patience, offer your pattern.

And "confidence" is just offering with complete congruence.