I've just recently found out about NLP so I started reading some books, most notably "Using Your Brain - For a Change".
Now, many exercises start with remembering a past event or generally thinking of something in the past. This proved to be more difficult than I expected.

For example, directly from the book's introduction:
"Think of a past experience that was very pleasant—perhaps one that you haven't thought about in a long time."
I tried really hard, but couldn't really think of any specific experience I considered "very pleasant".

Same deal with congruence. I couldn't remember a time when I was congruent. Couldn't even remember a time when I was incongruent.

Back to the book.
"I'd like you to think of some argument you had with someone in which you were certain you were right."
This actually often happens to me as I have a friend who really likes to argue and barely ever admits he's wrong. However, I couldn't remember any specific argument with him or anybody else for that matter. But some time later, me and a couple of friends had a very long argument which I did remember, or so I thought. Then I tried once more to do this exercise, but all I could remember was a still picture of what it looked like (i.e. where everyone was standing at that point). I do remember what arguments and points of view each person had, but not the exact words, mainly ideas.

The list goes on. I didn't start learning NLP for the purpose of self-improvement, but this helped me realize a huge problem. I never had great memory, far from it. I often forget where I put the keys and literally the only phone number I memorized is my own.
The problem, however, goes far beyond remembering phone numbers (a skill that I don't consider vital considering I can just write them down). I was to write an essay on the best thing or most enjoyable event that happened to me this year. Couldn't think of one. Then I tried going with worst thing. Again, couldn't think of one.

I suppose you see where this is going - I remember neither pleasant nor unpleasant events and when I do, they're often just a couple of still, dissociated pictures with low brightness and little color. I can change the submodalities and that does change the experience, but I believe the problem is my remembering strategy (or the lack of one) as any new memories adopt the same still picture form with the same old submodalities.

Any suggestions on how to solve this problem?

Hello,

I see what you mean, and I can kind of identify with it. Although, I have normally been able to find examples, it can be difficult. I suggest that if you are finding it very difficult then make a specific situation up! Because its your imagination, its likely to be very similar to a real event for you anyway, and so would have the same effect.

Good luck with it, hope this helps,

Steve

StBlue wrote:

I've just recently found out about NLP so I started reading some books, most notably "Using Your Brain - For a Change".
Now, many exercises start with remembering a past event or generally thinking of something in the past. This proved to be more difficult than I expected.

For example, directly from the book's introduction:
"Think of a past experience that was very pleasant—perhaps one that you haven't thought about in a long time."
I tried really hard, but couldn't really think of any specific experience I considered "very pleasant".



Same deal with congruence. I couldn't remember a time when I was congruent. Couldn't even remember a time when I was incongruent.

Back to the book.
"I'd like you to think of some argument you had with someone in which you were certain you were right."
This actually often happens to me as I have a friend who really likes to argue and barely ever admits he's wrong. However, I couldn't remember any specific argument with him or anybody else for that matter. But some time later, me and a couple of friends had a very long argument which I did remember, or so I thought. Then I tried once more to do this exercise, but all I could remember was a still picture of what it looked like (i.e. where everyone was standing at that point). I do remember what arguments and points of view each person had, but not the exact words, mainly ideas.

The list goes on. I didn't start learning NLP for the purpose of self-improvement, but this helped me realize a huge problem. I never had great memory, far from it. I often forget where I put the keys and literally the only phone number I memorized is my own.
The problem, however, goes far beyond remembering phone numbers (a skill that I don't consider vital considering I can just write them down). I was to write an essay on the best thing or most enjoyable event that happened to me this year. Couldn't think of one. Then I tried going with worst thing. Again, couldn't think of one.

I suppose you see where this is going - I remember neither pleasant nor unpleasant events and when I do, they're often just a couple of still, dissociated pictures with low brightness and little color. I can change the submodalities and that does change the experience, but I believe the problem is my remembering strategy (or the lack of one) as any new memories adopt the same still picture form with the same old submodalities.

Any suggestions on how to solve this problem?

This is a common 'problem'... which has nothing to do with you but with how the elicitation is structured.

"Think of a past experience that was very pleasant—perhaps one that you haven't thought about in a long time

Really what you do is.. THINK ..then you have to think even harder because you're running through different contexts... to see if they match "very pleasant" wondering (more thinking) why you don't find any context.

Then maybe you think you've found something, but .. Oh no.. It has to be long time ago... dooh .hopefully now you're going to get stuck and tranced out ..

Why is this such a problem for people?. You are ordered to think, you have to find a context..which sends you all up in your neocortex, instead of accessing your emotional part: "feeling" very pleasant

Next you'll be asked to remember a time when you where feeling confident?, which is even worse.. it takes out all the movement and instead of eliciting confidence it elicits thinking up a context and specific time.

Another problem with these kind of elictiations is that they are not even close to specific. "Very Pleasant", can have different meanings and emotions in different contexts for the same person: ie: it might be a warm hot bath, or getting a raise, ....
especially if you're trying to elicit a resource or something to anchor, this is sloppy

simple questions as .. how does very pleasant feel to you, feeling confident what's that like for you, ... will help you way more.

I would Skip every elicitation with "remember a time, think of, ..." everything that directs you away from accessing your emotions.

Cheers

Bart

StBlue wrote:

I suppose you see where this is going - I remember neither pleasant nor unpleasant events and when I do,

There's your example of incongruence. Do you notice the contradiction here?

they're often just a couple of still, dissociated pictures with low brightness and little color.

Do you think this is different than how other people remember things?

I can change the submodalities and that does change the experience, but I believe the problem is my remembering strategy (or the lack of one) as any new memories adopt the same still picture form with the same old submodalities.

One of these days, perhaps you can just sit down and make a list. Reasons to be Cheerful, part one. Have you ever laughed at a joke? Had an orgasm? Gone on vacation?


I think the 'problem' here is not your lack of memory, but your judgments about whether your memories are worthy or not. For those kinds of exercises, yours as worthy as anyone's.

Thanks, all three posts were of great help.

Do you think this is different than how other people remember things?

Well, my point was - if thinking back and changing submodalities can make the memories more pleasant, why not just remember them with those "pleasant" submodalities in the first place? Or is going back and changing them something that eventually becomes subconscious?
I also understand that this means my lead system is visual. That is useful to know, but I can see instances where remembering by sound or feeling can be more useful. Since having more choices is the goal of NLP, is it possible to have more than one lead system and how?

StBlue wrote:

Thanks, all three posts were of great help.

Well, my point was - if thinking back and changing submodalities can make the memories more pleasant, why not just remember them with those "pleasant" submodalities in the first place?

That's the idea.

Or is giing back and changing them something that eventually becomes subconscious?

I hope you'll decide to pick and choose which memories you adjust rather than leave it to an unconscious process. It's the unconscious processes that left them the way that you found them in the first place. With practice, tho, your skill at changing your responses to your experiences can improve to the point where you do this stuff on the fly. Have some patience about getting there and enjoy the ride.