How do you manifest concepts of being congruent and resourceful/flexible in practice?

Sounds awful hard work the way you've put it. In practice, the answer seems to be 'being yourself'. And the way to be yourself is too strip away anything you've acquired through schooling and socialisation that hinders free and honest expression.

simpcore wrote:

How do you manifest concepts of being congruent and resourceful/flexible in practice?

By first working out the criteria by which YOU will actually measure YOURSELF against when you are doing those things.

What specific behaviours will you be exhibiting when you are being congruent and resourceful/flexible and then checking if they are in-line with YOUR values, which of course, you have also worked out.

John

In order for a rudder to work the ship needs to be moving

simpcore wrote:

How do you manifest concepts of being congruent and resourceful/flexible in practice?

Congruence
Do you know how to send a specific message using only your "body language"? Your facial expressions, gestures, posture, movements, etc.?

Do you know how to send a specific message using only your "tone of voice"? The rate, rhythm, volume, intonation, etc., only, no words?

Congruence is nothing more than sending para-verbal and non-verbal messages that are complementary to the words you speak. So you have to be honest with both your interlocutor and yourself about what message(s) you want to send.

Resourceful/Flexible
Have a lot of resources and know how to use them. Keep learning. And when faced with any non-emergency situation, make a point of generating three or more possible solutions. Make it a habit. (In an emergency, choose the first effective solution, of course.)

And for both: Practice, practice, practice.

Not sure if I'm being pedantic or insightful, but I'm not sure anyone knows how to send out nonverbal messages: presumably it's an unconscious process that exists simultaneously with state and intention. How to suggests some level of conscious intervention that seems inappropriate.

adrian r wrote:

Not sure if I'm being pedantic or insightful, but I'm not sure anyone knows how to send out nonverbal messages: presumably it's an unconscious process that exists simultaneously with state and intention. How to suggests some level of conscious intervention that seems inappropriate.

Dunno about you but I can spot a message being sent, especially with non foveal vision, and I can do that because it's not congruent. The conscious decision to message makes that message clunky and mechanical

Michael_DeBusk wrote:

Congruence
Do you know how to send a specific message using only your "body language"? Your facial expressions, gestures, posture, movements, etc.?

Do you know how to send a specific message using only your "tone of voice"? The rate, rhythm, volume, intonation, etc., only, no words?

Congruence is nothing more than sending para-verbal and non-verbal messages that are complementary to the words you speak. So you have to be honest with both your interlocutor and yourself about what message(s) you want to send.

Resourceful/Flexible
Have a lot of resources and know how to use them. Keep learning. And when faced with any non-emergency situation, make a point of generating three or more possible solutions. Make it a habit. (In an emergency, choose the first effective solution, of course.)

And for both: Practice, practice, practice.

Thanks, those distinctions helped me see how to manifest both. And also eased my concern of sometimes having too many choices as being a bad thing.

I used to think that being congruent could mean being too rigid, and flexible could mean lacking identity. This made me feel contradiction and confused as to how to manifest in life.