I was sat in my living room the other day just thinking about all the great things that have happened in my life over the past three or four years and I started to wonder about all the changes that have happened.

I got to thinking about how the coaches I have, the friends I have and the people I surround myself with have, in their own way, created changes in my life. The more I thought about this and wondered how they helped me to change, I started to realise what it was.

People change when you give them space to change on their own

When a Formula One racing driver is speeding along the race course at over 100MPH, he knows which way to go because the road twists and turns in certain ways and in that moment, he's happy to follow that route because he knows it leads to the finish line. It's not the only finish line the racing driver will ever come across because each race has it's own path, each has it's own twists and turns and each one has a different route to the finish line.

It's not the road that makes the racing driver good or not, it's his ability to use what's available to him and to be tenacious about getting where he wants to be. The road is just the guide that shows which way to turn at which point and when it's a good time to put your foot down and really go for it full speed.

The road also helps the driver to know when it's a good idea to slow down and take it easy, because sometimes, the best way to get around a corner is to just slow down, aim the car, and let the road take you in the right direction.

To me, coaching is similar in many ways. Sometimes people come to me an expect me to perform miracles in their lives. I always explain to them that miracles will happen, but they won't be because of me. Just like the road acts as a guide for the race driver, so too does a coach act as a guide to their clients.

Michael Neill often tells the story of a stick that was floating down a river and got stuck in the weeds. The stick didn't need therapy, it just needed a small nudge to get it flowing back down the river.

When I think about all of the wonderful changes that have happened in my life over the past few years, I realise that a lot of those changes happened because I was able to let them happen. The people around me were able to help my life to transform by just being around and acting as guides in my life.

Change happens inspite of therapy, not because of it. One of the truths about being a coach is that we're here to help our clients aim their changes and transformations.

It's one thing to laugh and it's one thing to change, but to aim that laughter at the problems of the past and direct that change to an even more inspiring future, to me, that's what sets my soul on fire and that's what I love about the work I have the pleasure of doing.

As always, with love.

Source: Change happens inspite of therapy - One of the truths about coaching | Jamie Dixon

jamiedixon wrote:

Michael Neill often tells the story of a stick that was floating down a river and got stuck in the weeds. The stick didn't need therapy, it just needed a small nudge to get it flowing back down the river.

Luverly Juberly!

I think that's what people used to do before therapy was invented.

John

Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong but it sure keeps you from enjoying it

You cannpt not change, I always say. You have to change just to stay the same!

J

Thanks for the replies guys

Jamie,

A good friend of mine who works as a hypnotherapist told me this about a client who he had booked in at the last minute for a late evening session.

He had been very busy all day and the client arrived on time and my friend escorted him into his therapy room, made him comfortable and performed an induction to which the client responded really well and developed a deep trance state.

It was at this point that my friend panicked because he had forgotten to ask the client what the presenting issue was so rather than wake the client up to ask him what he wanted to work on he started talking generally about the unconsciuos mind setting up all the required resources for making changes he needed etc...

At the end of the session the client was awakened and he went on his way.

About 3 months later he got a call from the same client who wanted to thank him, his fear of flying had completely dissappeared. He also went on to thank him for helping with the weight loss and that he had lost almost 2 stone since that one session.

Just a nudge for the stick in the weeds I guess..

Jason

aikijason wrote:

Jamie,

A good friend of mine who works as a hypnotherapist told me this about a client who he had booked in at the last minute for a late evening session.

He had been very busy all day and the client arrived on time and my friend escorted him into his therapy room, made him comfortable and performed an induction to which the client responded really well and developed a deep trance state.

It was at this point that my friend panicked because he had forgotten to ask the client what the presenting issue was so rather than wake the client up to ask him what he wanted to work on he started talking generally about the unconsciuos mind setting up all the required resources for making changes he needed etc...

At the end of the session the client was awakened and he went on his way.

About 3 months later he got a call from the same client who wanted to thank him, his fear of flying had completely dissappeared. He also went on to thank him for helping with the weight loss and that he had lost almost 2 stone since that one session.

Just a nudge for the stick in the weeds I guess..

Jason

That is a cool story!

Personally I believe that, if you can do great 'secret changework' you have a whole world of opportunity open up - because any additional information you get just becomes an added bonus!

Cheers

James

The idea of secret changework befuddles me...

Because, the truth is that what you are doing is blatantly obvious to anyone who has eyes to see or ears to hear....

Venus

I think that must let out the vast majority of the population, then. In my experience, most people don't seem to pick up on converstional changework at all, even if you've just been talking about NLP. In fact if you have, you can just tell them this story about how you helped someone make a change, do all the same stuff to them in the context of telling them the story, and they'll happily follow along, 'cos hey, it's a story.

venus_brown wrote:

...to anyone who has eyes to see or ears to hear....

But if that were the case then change work wouldn't be required.

John

Anyone who keeps their ability to see beauty never grows old.

venus_brown wrote:

The idea of secret changework befuddles me...

Because, the truth is that what you are doing is blatantly obvious to anyone who has eyes to see or ears to hear....

Venus

Hi Venus

I am inferring from your response that I miscommunicated somewhat! By 'secret changework' I was referring to the practise of doing changework without knowing any of the clients content - not to doing changework covertly (though as bridget points out, this can be done).

I hope that makes more sense!

All the very best

James