Hello all

I have a son 2,5 yrs old. Last week he saw a fly when we were out playing and he panicked and ran to me. Today he panicked again when a fly came by, screaming and not wanting to play outside anymore.

I have decided that maybe his older sister should "play with" some bugs and let him become curious and gradually see that it is ok to see them flying around..

What would the superskilled NLP master do in this particular case?

Any ideas any one?

I had this a couple of weeks ago with my 2 yr old daughter. She witnessed her older sister react hysterically to a beetle and then did the same for beetles, flies and other small objects that look like insects. I quickly nipped it in the bud by firstly handling some bugs myself(ants and beetles were easiest for me to find) and then getting her to handle them. I handled the bugs with a sense of curiosity and now she does the same. Took about 5-10 mins of exposure each day fro three days to get back to being comfortable around them again.

I intend to continue to periodically handle bugs for the next few weeks to reinforce this further.

Hope this helps.

Thank you Chris, I will give it a try today. We´ll go looking for some bugs!

I´ll let you know how it goes.

/Pet

Maybe get the DVD of the film Bugs Life and then go searching for the characters in your garden.

Maybe read up on why insects struggle with life in an urban area and enlist his sympathy and then build a conversation area in your garden which he will be able to offer the bugs a little village to live in. This may take alot of the 'unknown' out of what the bugs are and what they do. It is spring time at the so there is plenty of activity in the gardens at the moment.

I would be cautious before stating the kid has a phonia or anything serious apart from a one off reaction. If the fly buzzed quite close to his ear it may have actually been quite loud and may have sparked of a fear of an potential bee or wasp sting and now a generalisation has been formed.

If there is a next time I think your reaction will be essential to whether his fear continues. As an authority figure he will be looking for your leadership and answers to parts of the world he as yet know little about. Maybe next time it happens model the behaviour you want him to display. Maybe as your son comes running to you look amazed and excited and as your boys tells you of his close encounter interrupt him and say "wow, I know, the fly buzzed right past me and then I saw him buzz past you and off he went. It was really cool! I wonder how far away he is now? He was going really fast, I bet he is right over there by that tree now or maybe as far as the road away. That is why they are called flies, because they fly right past you and then fly off!"

Or tell him about the story of an old teacher you had and that you were once on a field trip to some crappy museum and he was going on about some rubbish when you noticed his zip on his trousers were undone and while you were all laughing a fly actually flew through his undone zip and was flying around his pants and it was hilarious watching etc etc while telling his the story you can attack and tickle him whilst making fly noises. In simple terms I am just trying to swish the image and thoughts of worry about flies with a comical image for him to hold onto. So from now on when you hear a fly buzzing near by, just check you are all zipped up!

Just a few ideas,

Matt

Oh, and I thought it was about what happens to me whenever my girl misses her period.

Thanks Matt.

My reaction on all occations have been "cool" and a relaxed light attitude.. He doesnt speak many words yet, so he cant explain or ask questions. However when the bugs have appeared i explained in a similar way that you describe, Matt.

I dont believe its a "phobia"-phobia. I used the word because it was the best description of his reaction. I´m not worried, but I figured there had to be some good way of helping it on the way.

Anyway, we set out with a jar to "collect some bugs" and he was really interested in helping out. So by the end of the day he was pointing out ants and bugs to me (not willing to touch them yet). We put them in the jar and studied them close-up. Next we will go after the bigger flies..

alexk: You dont have a phobia, A phobia is an excessive or unreasonable fear of an object, place or situation ....