How do you deal with grudges?

Have you noticed that when you have had it with someone in one discussion, from that very day his shadow follows you and you find any topic or contribution of yours almost inmediately followed by the grudgers post, dismising the topic, making fun, or confronting your opinion with little value, only for the sake of noise and boicott?

How do you shake em off your leg?

Is a grudger forever, like diamonds?

eliansito wrote:

How do you shake em off your leg?

I've found that if I live my life in such a way that no one who knows me will believe anything bad that they hear about me, I don't have to worry about grudges.

Part of living such a life is apologizing when I do something for which a person might hold a grudge, of course.

Grudges let you know you've made an impact.

It seems to be a lot about the scope of the difference you make multiplied by how many people it affects, and for most people it's simply a numbers game after that. I work a lot with MPs for example and even the most popular ones get dozens of letters each week from people who feel let down and angry. Some people invest a lot of energy in their MP playing a role in their story, and it's easy to get in a state when something isn't going well for you and the person you think should help doesn't help. In fact they just sit there, spending their expenses. The bastards.

Realistically, each MP represents hundreds of thousands of people, all with competing interests. You can't please everyone and you can't spend hours calming each critic down and trying to explain that you're just human too. So you do your best. And it's part of the job that some people will think your best isn't good enough. That's why most MPs have had their tyres slashed. Most get nasty letters. Most get called nasty names. And hopefully they focus on the nicer stuff.

If you stick your head above the parapet, you will get shot at.

But be true to yourself and it never really matters.

Big thank you Chris, its just annoying and trying to sort it out directly mostly ends up in a grudge loop (nonetheless I will try below...).
So I guess it is a losing battle, better said, the wrong battle.


Michael, since you replied and I assume we let our egos out of this section, you are one of the few with whom I have had the experience described, although its already past, I would like to ask you,

Did you reply on a personal level, especially on your second paragraph? do you think I owe or have own you an apology? I am sure you remember the occasion.

Thank you!

R

eliansito wrote:

Did you reply on a personal level, especially on your second paragraph? do you think I owe or have own you an apology? I am sure you remember the occasion.

You and I are fine. No apologies are expected or desired.

Michael_DeBusk wrote:

You and I are fine. No apologies are expected or desired.

Ok then, it is a relief, I thank you again for the advice above, and I always prefer to have a friend than a grudge with anyone!

Be well

R