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From:

Oxford compiles list of top ten irritating phrases - Telegraph

The Top Ten List:
1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science

That's a fairly unique list at the end of the day and although I personally agree with a lot of it at this moment in time, with all due respect it's not absolutely necessary to include all these things and it's a nightmare when people take things too far. I think they shouldn't of included 24/7 for example and it's not rocket science to see why.

My most hated (at the moment) are -

... and this workshop will revel the secrets of [NLP, hypnosis, coaching, whatever...]

and in the same vein -

we teach what they didn't want you to know....

it's just semantics

John

I just got out of the hospital, I was in a speed-reading accident and I hit a bookmark

Yeah, we know John. You've mentioned it once or twice before.

One day I'll reveal the big secret that they don't want you to know about and then you'll realise why the fact you hate it is why we do it.

Until then, it's just semantics.

What about the 'Book of Mamagement - or is that Damagement - Speak?'

After all, we have to line up our ducks and keep the tanks off the front lawn by leveraging synergies, don't we.

(Actually, I love management metaphors - but I love it even more when people use them and don't even know what they're saying!)

Cheers

....and I will keep on until they stop and there are alway new trainers on the scene who copy the experts, getting your marketing right isn't rocket science after all.

John

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception, I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'no'

Like a Quantum Leap you mean, which is actually very very small.

John

I had a project manager once who used a lot of those management phrases. He was really fun to wind up. Every time someone spotted a management speak term we'd do something small like say really softly "bing!" or make a face.. Really did his head in and was fun to watch him squirm..

Hey, so you play 'Bullshit Bingo' too? Many a bored meeting was made tolerable with this game. Ah, business.

Cheers

My favorite moment with that particular manager and when I actually fell off my chair uncontrollably laughing was when he said "Just because we have spent a lot of time looking for improvements to the process doesn't mean we are going to actually make them!" That was a time well spent then eh? Bizarrely, he even tried to get me into a lot of trouble for laughing at the stupidity of it.

Corporate insanity at its best! Now why don't I choose to work in that environment anymore I wonder?

"I'm not being funny...." - I'm surprised that wasn't included in the 10. So I'm including it, here and now :0)

What about the top 10 most annoying NLP phrases / words?

Buy now
Like me
According to whom?

Smells like a new thread......

Meta Monster

Early Bird Offer

Get the life you deserve

According to my map

John

Resource... yuk!

Yeah you guys are right, these business people who try to motivate and energise people by using metaphors must be laughable because... because Scott Adams makes it OK to be cynical and because us in IT or Engineering or in [...feel free to insert your occupation here...] or whatever are much smarter with our language patterns even though we wish we could earn a living from NLP but we can't...yet...and in the mean time we can come here and trott out stock responses to those people who use stock phrases and I'm not trying to be funny but if the cap fits then feel free......

Energise

Trot out

Stock responses

I'm not trying to be funny but

If the cap fits

John

There are worse things in life than death, have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Don't spoil it John!

John,

You are missing out on a lot of fun. These phrases can be entertaining to translate as they usually mean the writer is stuck and is looking for a way not to say what they mean.

Here are a couple that I find often fit.

Early bird discount
This can mean "I'm knocking off a couple of quid to get the ball rolling" or "I'm really strapped for cash at the moment, not sure how I am going to pay for this publicity campaign and the deposits. Might be wise to pay by credit card."

The secrets they didn't want you to know...
"This is pretty well known now so I don't want to give any details in case you google it and realise that most of the world knows."

Get the life you deserve
There will be some changes in your life after this (see credit card payment above). You deserve these changes as you chose to book the seminar in the first place.

Treat it as a game and remember anything highlighted in yellow scores double.

Anything by the innocent hypnotist contains great material for translation. Just keep repeating to yourself "No refunds, no returns" and you shouldn't go far wrong.

PT Barnum used to label the exit from his wild animal tent "Egress" to increase the number of punters through the door.

You are quite right as always Nick.

I shouldn't be so purist and let them say whatever crap they like. After all if they don't write that stuff how will I know to avoid them.

Hey Ho.

John

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television

The one I hear quite a lot is:

"At the end of the day, when all said and done, the bottom line is..."

almost as if they are trying to build up to a big finish.