Prompted by the ever popular and long running NLP & Sexuality thread how about some stories about the garden of Eden.

Here's one for the girls!

Contrary to many popular theories God created Eve, and set her in the Garden. He used all the DNA and other people making bits and when he had finished had a slack handful left over. Not wanting to waste it, and being proud of the soft but firm mounds he had stuck on Eve's chest, he gave her a third breast, right in the middle.

After a while in the Garden, God came down to visit Eve and see how things were going.

Eve was full of compliments for the work God had done and enthused about all the lovely flowers and fruits.

Whilst talking God noticed that Eve kept trying to arrange her three breasts and they seemed to be causing her a bit of difficulty. ''Are your breasts causing you a problem?'' God asked.

''Well, as it happens the only one I have real trouble with is the middle one.'' Said Eve.

''Yes,'' said God. ''I'll just put you to sleep and make a small adjustment!'' So God removed the offending third breast and threw it under a nearby bush.

When Eve came round she was delighted with her 'new pair', and skipped gaily around the garden showing them to the trees and plants.

Some days later God was again in the garden and came across Eve sitting under a tree looking sad.

''What's the matter Eve?'' He asked.

''Oh God!'' She replied. ''I'm so lonely. Can't you make me a companion to share my time with?''

God could see this would indeed be a good idea and thought he would name the new person Adam, but he had used all his DNA and people clay on perfecting Eve.

''I need a bit of you to start off the process'' God said. Then he had a brainwave and started ferreting under a bush saying ''Now where did I throw that useless TIT?''

Nigel

... and one for the boys!

and God was pleased with his creation Adam. Strong, lithe and intelligent!

After Adam had been in the garden for some time, God came down for afternoon tea and a chat. Although Adam had been expecting him he had temporarily forgotten and absentmindedly eaten all the Gipsy Creams and forgotten to put the milk in the fridge so it was now approaching yoghourt liker consistency.

God realised that Adam was in need of help.

''Adam! I've been thinknig about making you a companion.'' said God. ''Someone who will ensure there are always biscuits for tea and keeps the milk in the fridge. She, her name will be Eve, will also help you by washing your clothes, keeping the house tidy and be the bearer of your children. In fact she will do eveything for you.''

''Wow!'' said Adam.

''Yes!'' says God. ''She will be truly wonderful. But the bad news is I need to take some parts of you to make her, probably one arm and one leg!''

''Jeepers!'' exclaimed Adam. ''That seems like a heavy price!''

''What could I get for a rib?''

Nigel