Big NLP Conference:

The first speaker, a lady from Nottingham , stood up and said 'During last year's NLP Seminar we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband Trevor that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself.

After the first day I saw nothing, after the second day I saw nothing, but on the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb' (the crowd cheered).

The second speaker from York , stood up and said 'After last year's NLP Seminar I went home and told my husband Ivan that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself.

After the first day I saw nothing, after the second day I saw nothing, but on the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing, but mine as well' (the crowd again cheered).

The third speaker from Newcastle, stood up and said 'Afta last yee-ah's NLP Seminar aah went hyem and telt that lazy basstad Geordie of mine,that ah was nee langa pickin up his beer cans, cookin his foud and washin his kecks and that he was ganna hafta de them hisell' (the crowd went wild with cheering and clapping that lasted for five long minutes)

She continued.....'Afta the forst day, I nevah saw nowt, afta the second day I nevah saw nowt, but afta the thord day, I could see a little bit oota me left eye'