how is it that an astonishing amount of views are accounted for any topic
yet only a very small number of those views turn into participation on the discussion

You could ohmost be seen as authority on anything you post on here based up on how many clicks it gets
I dont get it

anyone else?

typeunderground wrote:

how is it that an astonishing amount of views are accounted for any topic
yet only a very small number of those views turn into participation on the discussion

You could ohmost be seen as authority on anything you post on here based up on how many clicks it gets

typeunderground wrote:

I dont get it

anyone else?

Someone once commented to me "You need a thick skin to post on NLP Connections."

John

Intuition is a suspension of logic due to impatience

I think it's the nature of forums that more people read than write - I've never seen a forum that's not like that. But I think there's something specific here too...

NLP doesn't get taught thoroughly very often. Nonetheless, some people think they should know everything anyway, and they think it says something about them if they don't. Then they project that out and expect others to judge them if they reveal the holes in their knowledge. So they hold back, don't contribute.

Being human, they also filter their experiences to prove themselves right. So they remember all the times people got meta monstered, the times people got ignored, the times Eric Robbie ripped into someone. And perhaps they overlook all the times that people have said "wow, thanks", all the people who took their understanding to a new level, all the new friendships that have been formed, the new ideas that have been born by people sharing together, people feeling connected and valued and grateful to be part of something bigger than themselves...

So I don't think you need a thick skin - you just need to stop telling yourself the story about needing a thick skin.

... because if that's your story, even if you post regularly you'll still tend to communicate through innuendo and presupposition, rarely showing the real you.

"The only way out is in"

There are 80,000 posts here - enough to fill four average-length books. I'd be happy if more people got involved, but my experience is about what is, and enjoying what is. If you want more from your experience here, I think a great way is to notice what else is here that you missed before.

I'm glad my ignorance allows me a certain freedom to post but I do agree with Chris, I moderate on a sports forum, whilst we have some very knowledgable people who post we also have those who post because it's fun, they want to share that with other posters. If our forum was full of professionals, who may know each other or have trained with each other.. I'm certain a high percentage of those would be very cagey about expressing their opinions.

Hi!

I post because its fun and it helps me learn. A mentor told me a long time ago that there were three ways to learning - being taught, to practice, and to teach. And putting comments forward on a forum is a way of teaching - at least, formulating your learning into words and putting it 'out there'.

And as a result of doing so I've learned loads through writing, loads more through comments, and its kept me coming back and back again to learn more!

I see posting here as a kind of continuing professional development - testing, developing and learning.

And I've picked up a few Facebook friends too, and reinforced relationships with people I already knew.

I think I suffered an Eric 'post of criticism' very early on in my membership and took it with a pinch of salt and gave a polite 'ear clip' back. I see this forum as not just for trainers but for everyone. Mind you, my mindset is to know what I know, and then when I end up learning more allowing my opinions to change. Yvonne knows me from other forums, and knows I'm pretty thick skinned - I would say that its 'banter' level here when people disagree - you should see what she has to moderate on!!!

If Richard Bandler or John Grinder posted here, and I disagreed, or wanted to learn more on a point, I would still have no hesitation in posting my comments. In my short time in the NLP world I have already learned that many trainers are stuck in their ways, have limitations, are not updating their skills, or are protecting their agendas...and that's just the trainers, let alone the Masters Pracs and beyond...

In my training when sparring I love fighting beginners - they are the guys that hit me, throwing shots that I don't expect, doing the unexpected, giving me new ways of thinking, giving me fresh ideas, and I love it when they take one of my teachings and make it their own. As then I learn even more right back from them. I love it when they 'shake the tree'.

Personally, whilst there is a MASSIVE amount of info on this site (thanks Chris!) I would love to see much more input. I've started a couple of threads where I've requested input, and very little has been coming despite a massive amounts of hits. Its a shame, because I think everyone should really put opinions in, as from this I would learn so much more...and so might they?

So I for one would love to see more input!

Best regards,

Smiler

chris_morris wrote:

I think it's the nature of forums that more people read than write - I've never seen a forum that's not like that. But I think there's something specific here too...

NLP doesn't get taught thoroughly very often. Nonetheless, some people think they should know everything anyway, and they think it says something about them if they don't. Then they project that out and expect others to judge them if they reveal the holes in their knowledge. So they hold back, don't contribute.

Being human, they also filter their experiences to prove themselves right. So they remember all the times people got meta monstered, the times people got ignored, the times Eric Robbie ripped into someone. And perhaps they overlook all the times that people have said "wow, thanks", all the people who took their understanding to a new level, all the new friendships that have been formed, the new ideas that have been born by people sharing together, people feeling connected and valued and grateful to be part of something bigger than themselves...

So I don't think you need a thick skin - you just need to stop telling yourself the story about needing a thick skin.

... because if that's your story, even if you post regularly you'll still tend to communicate through innuendo and presupposition, rarely showing the real you.

"The only way out is in"

There are 80,000 posts here - enough to fill four average-length books. I'd be happy if more people got involved, but my experience is about what is, and enjoying what is. If you want more from your experience here, I think a great way is to notice what else is here that you missed before.

Chris

re:"Nonetheless, some people think they should know everything anyway, and they think it says something about them if they don't. Then they project that out and expect others to judge them if they reveal the holes in their knowledge. So they hold back, don't contribute. "

this is almost amusing to me. to me there's very little "at stake" in posting here. but that maybe because I know what I know....and what I don't.

its difficult for me to imagine, for example, that someone would suffer or develop a "self esteem" problem from unwanted responses to their postings. and there are those who post and expect to receive postings that they like. then when they get ones they don't like, they "flame" the person who posted it(which is really "bad form").

and then there's this thing called projection/projecting which I think is respectfully,nonsense.

Hmmm! Very interesting!!

It seems my little post above has stirred up a bit of comment with a couple of PM's and a couple of emails...

The two people who sent me a PM, I would love to enter into conversation with you, despite stating differently in your PM's, so if it is OK to do so, please pop me another PM or email to confirm?

Thanks and sincere best regards,

Smiler

Another thing occurs to me: people contribute here for different reasons, and often several reasons. I clarify my thoughts more easily when I write them down, for example. So I write as a kind of meditation. Similar but different, Gary finds teaching is a good way to learn, and he learns from how people respond to him too. Others get angry about 'untruths' being spread and feel they have to 'set the record straight'. Some are here to sell. Some like the feeling of helping others. Some like the feeling of knowing more than others. And these are just a few of the many, many reasons people participate.

The point is to be aware of the differences and make good guesses about what people want. You don't have to reply to everyone, and everyone isn't the same. If I think someone just wants to have their say, that's fine - I don't need to tell them why I disagree, because they didn't ask and that's not what they're here for. If someone is asking questions and seeking more perspectives, then I'm much more likely to reply. And in the same way, if I want people to reply to me, I write respectfully in a way that invites that.

chris_morris wrote:

Another thing occurs to me: people contribute here for different reasons, and often several reasons. I clarify my thoughts more easily when I write them down, for example. So I write as a kind of meditation. Similar but different, Gary finds teaching is a good way to learn, and he learns from how people respond to him too. Others get angry about 'untruths' being spread and feel they have to 'set the record straight'. Some are here to sell. Some like the feeling of helping others. Some like the feeling of knowing more than others. And these are just a few of the many, many reasons people participate.

The point is to be aware of the differences and make good guesses about what people want. You don't have to reply to everyone, and everyone isn't the same. If I think someone just wants to have their say, that's fine - I don't need to tell them why I disagree, because they didn't ask and that's not what they're here for. If someone is asking questions and seeking more perspectives, then I'm much more likely to reply. And in the same way, if I want people to reply to me, I write respectfully in a way that invites that.

When is writing non-respectfully appropriate then?

John

Correction does much and encouragement does more

z8000783 wrote:

When is writing non-respectfully appropriate then?

I think you know what I meant. And if I had wanted to be more explicit about it, I would have been.