chris_morris wrote:

... and better it was me, right?

I almost said that, too, but... you know.

I think it's a good idea to combine practicing and socialising, and if Adam prefers socialising with gay guys then that makes sense.

Agreed. At the same time, I recall a fellow in my Practitioner training... he was the most effeminate person I've ever met, male or female. (I have no idea if he was gay, but he mentioned a girlfriend a couple of times in passing.) I kept trying to match/mirror him -- movements, gestures, facial expressions, speech patterns, anything -- and couldn't do it. It was as if his para-verbals and non-verbals were not just outside my experience or ability, but outside my capability.

I mentioned this to another guy in the class, and he responded with, "He's who you should be working with, then."

It's interesting that some people thumbed down Adam's post and I'd be interested to hear their reasons for doing that.

If I had done it -- and I haven't, and won't -- it would have been for the moral of the above story. I'd have been concerned about his placing limits on his experience simply for sake of comfort. But there's nothing wrong with seeking comfort as long as it isn't too expensive.

chris_morris wrote:

(This forum has an absurd habit of going meta on everything. Adam wants to meet some friends. All this discussion feels a bit superfluous to me.)

Maybe we're trying to be friendly.

z8000783 wrote:

At least you didn't say God Bless You.

How about, "In the event, however unlikely, that at least one deity exists, howsoever one may define 'existence', and said deity is both willing and capable of bestowing blessings on humans, it is my sincere desire that said god bestows a blessing upon you, provided it is a blessing which you would consider to be positive; therefore, and in that spirit, I say, 'God bless you'."

Would that work?

Michael_DeBusk wrote:

How about, "In the event, however unlikely, that at least one deity exists, howsoever one may define 'existence', and said deity is both willing and capable of bestowing blessings on humans, it is my sincere desire that said god bestows a blessing upon you, provided it is a blessing which you would consider to be positive; therefore, and in that spirit, I say, 'God bless you'."

Would that work?

'Bless you' was more than adequate.

John

Pascal did say there was a god shaped hole in everyman but
then again he is not remembered as being a great anatomist

anne_mcfarland wrote:

Take your pick of reasons why but I supect it's to do with attitudes at the top.

What attitudes, and whose? I hadn't noted any, but as I'm straight I may have missed it.

A LGBT group within NLP might help?

I doubt it would be necessary. There are none of Phred Phelps' pholks here, and any who show up won't last long. I doubt the rest of us care a whole lot who has sex with whom... though success strategies are always a welcome discussion point, I suppose.

adam_m wrote:

It's a simple enough request guys, I wasn't starting a debate. Apart from the one person who pm'ed me, is anyone interested in answering the question?

Easy, Adam... it's just that we heteros don't want to be left out.

I'm sure you'll find more of what you're looking for.

z8000783 wrote:

'Bless you' was more than adequate.

How about: "Bless!"

Michael_DeBusk wrote:

How about: "Bless!"

Nope, just over the line into patronising.

John

In a time of universal deceit telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act

I have nine of us now and the possibility of setting up an online or skype group for us, message me if you want to join us too.

There's a newly-single gay penguin going spare.

Poor Pepper

Wishing youe every success with the group.

I can understand why someone would want to practice NLP skills with someone who shares their sexuality. This is because they may have had similar experiences, and have lots in common. And this kind of thing can be very important in achieving success- for example helping build rapport. Its a good idea, I think.

This is true of other things that people have in common, especially where those things are of a minority.

Ofcourse its also true that people will want to practice with people who are very different from them, or just similar.

Its all good.

Hi Steve
reading the posts before yours has demonstrated a pretty liberal attitude to the original post. And as the original poster has clarified his wishes I was interested in what your post was trying to communicate?

your quote"And this kind of thing can be very important in achieving success-for example helping build rapport." Really?

Surly one of the basic tenants of successful NLP application is the ability to get into rapport with anyone and demonstrate flexibility to achieve that aim. If what you say is true how would that constitute a way of achieving success? Why have you created a complex equivalence out of something that does not warrant it? Being with others of a shared sexuality is just that. Nothing more nothing less.

People are more than the sum of their sexuality are they not? As Chris says, he wants to practice with people for various reasons.

There is a huge generalisation occurring.
Quote"This is because they may have had similar experiences, and have lots in common." Really? The use of the word 'they' possibly hints at a divide with the deletion. I suppose it boils down to where you wish your unconscious to focus it's attention. Difference or same and the level of chunking.
I have tried to use NLP training as an environment that unites people to a common goal, we are all the same. People trying to do the best they can from the maps provided and consequently helping each other to surpass those maps with new data and understandings. A place where we can go beyond labels.

Regards

Peter

p.s Have fun at the practice group and learn lots.

Hi Peter,

I agree with you that NLP should unite and that we should look to see what we have in common, as opposed to seeing what is different. However, we DO have differences, and I believe it’s important to seek out like minded people, as well as different people.

I’m certainly not supporting any form of segregation. Perhaps my choice of words did not explain what I meant them to.

I do however disagree with you that all the earlier posts demonstrated a ‘pretty liberal attitude to the original post’. Liberalism means recognising the importance of individual freedom. There are a few posts (and thums up) suggesting that the original poster should not be seeking out other gay people to practice NLP with. That's not recognising the importance of individual freedom. And its because of that, that I was motivated to respond with my first message.



Steve

I actually like the increasing awareness of equality and diversity and welcome the chance to experience diversity. Everyone can learn from everyones experience but only when given the chance. Not that I would because I like to learn from all walks of life but how would people react to a "heterosexuals" only NLP practice group? Women only, insert "x" minority group only its all personal freedom? Don't get it personally and looks like this will be one route where I won't get the chance to either...

Hi Steve
quote"I agree with you that NLP should unite and that we should look to see what we have in common, as opposed to seeing what is different. However, we DO have differences, and I believe it’s important to seek out like minded people, as well as different people. Imagine, for example, a gay man growing up in a small village community. No gay friends, surrounded only by heterosexual role models. He may wish to balance this by seeking out gay people.

I’m a gay man. I seek out gay people. I’m also a human being and I seek out other human beings. Both are fine, surely?"

Seems fine to me.
quote "I’m certainly not supporting any form of segregation. Perhaps my choice of words did not explain what I meant them to."

Hence my post and your subsequent opportunity to clarify your intention.

Quote
"I do however disagree with you that all the earlier posts all demonstrated a ‘pretty liberal attitude to the original post’. Liberalism means recognising the importance of individual freedom. There are a few posts (and thums up) suggesting that the original poster should not be seeking out other gay people to practice NLP with."

That's interesting. I read through all the posts again to see if I could find where you were attributing that particular piece of information regarding the suggestion that the original poster should not be seeking etc etc.
and personally could not see where you were getting that notion from????

Are you sure of those intentions???

I personally don't tend to take any notice of thumbs as they are not accountable. Posts are.

Some people might have said from the limited information of the original post that it was discriminating against other guys who were not gay? I did not see it that way but it could be interpreted as such if someone wanted to distort it that way, In that frame the posts would be very liberal.

Regards

Peter

peter108 wrote:

Quote
"I do however disagree with you that all the earlier posts all demonstrated a ‘pretty liberal attitude to the original post’. Liberalism means recognising the importance of individual freedom. There are a few posts (and thums up) suggesting that the original poster should not be seeking out other gay people to practice NLP with."

That's interesting. I read through all the posts again to see if I could find where you were attributing that particular piece of information regarding the suggestion that the original poster should not be seeking etc etc.
and personally could not see where you were getting that notion from????

Are you sure of those intentions???

I personally don't tend to take any notice of thumbs as they are not accountable. Posts are.


Regards

Peter

I've written several versions of this response (and then deleted), but upon relection I don't want to point out specifics in previous posts, as those people are probably not on line, and so can't explain themselves. To be honest, its probably me misunderstanding what are probably just meant as jokes, or light banter. (Map is not the territory and all that!)

Thanks very much for your responses. I hope to chat to you on here again soon.

Hi Steve
I understand and appreciate your point. No need to go into specifics.

Thanks for the clarification.

regards
Peter

Alistair_Donnell wrote:

Everyone can learn from everyones experience but only when given the chance.

Hear, hear. I find anything else, in my model of the world, discriminatory.

Not necessarily bad; not necessarily good- but definitely discriminatory upon criteria other then experience and ability.